Monday, 19 December 2011

The Tale of Bobby and His Fight With Japanese Immigration.

Ok let me just state this story is about a friend.... of course. It would be silly of me to write illegal things about myself, what if people like Japanese immigration were to read this. So yes, this is a story about a friend and is probably complete fiction.

What will he do to dance parapara in Tokyo? Anything he can, and sometimes even that's not enough. Bobby (my friend) has been banned from a lot of things in my life but never a whole country? Yeah it's a first even for him.

If you've been following his life adventures you'll know he was meanly kicked out of Tokyo at the beginning of November when his tourist visa ran out and he is waiting to get the green light on his full work visa application. Even though his visa is due anytime now he thought there had been a long enough gap inbetween his last visit to tokyo to just fly out on a tourist visa and enjoy Christmas and New Years there.

Now just to make sure immigration wouldn't give him a hard time about being in Tokyo so much, he applied for a new passport before he left. Somehow he managed to lose his current passport with all those stamps showing he'd been in tokyo for nearly 18 months. What a coincedence. So passport sorted, flight booked, all was set.

The journey to Heathrow started badly, a sign to Bobby that all was not right with the stars. After picking up his passport in Peterborough he boarded the train to London. No gates at the station and a full standing only train means only one thing, free train ride. Unbelievably for Bobby, a Geordie cunt of a ticket master showed up on the train and started doling out his Cameron justice. That'll be £47 quid he said to Bobby. I think not, Bobby said. I think it will be or I'll call the police. Go on then, Bobby said, I'm not paying £47 to stand by a fucking toilet that doesn't even work. And so a cunt off commenced. Alas with Bobby flying out in the morning the last thing he needed was a stand off with the fuck masters at the other end. What with previous court appearances for similar offences... So Bobby stood down and paid the massive cunt price to the massive power mad cunt. A rare defeat in the battle against cunt kind for our hero Bobby.

Onwards to Heathrow airport Bobby, be free and live that dream for all of us!!

Heathrow airport 5am, stage one of the 3 stage immigration rumble plan. Stage one was a matter of checking in on a one way ticket to Tokyo. Not illegal but not exactly allowed by a lot of airlines, must have an onward ticket and all that.


The automatic check in machines show nothing but error signals to Bobby. So on to the desk he goes to be greated by a smiling woman who is all to happy to check in his bags and give him that all important ticket.


With stage one complete it looked like plane sailing was ahead, and indeed it was until he landed in Milan. Because of a chnage of airport in Milan Bobby had to collect his luggage and check in at the other airport across town.


This time the automatic check in robot worked and spat out the final leg ticket, that golden ticket ticket to Tokyo. But of course there was trouble at the desk. Did he have an onward ticket from Japan? Why of course he did.... maybe. Ok maybe not after they checked. Thus began a meeting with the management. After far to long they decided to print out a fake ticket to hong Kong for January 3rd. Fantastic Bobby thought, blank passport, onward ticket, why wouldn't they let me into Japan.

Finally after the grueling 18+ hour journey from London Bobby arrived in Tokyo. The weather was beautiful, he could see Fuji-san all the way from Chiba. It was looking like one perfect day. Just that final most important stage to pass now. Tokyo immigration....

Passport handed over, looking good, finger print and face scan, still looking good...

Can you go with this lady please Mr Bobby?....

Fuck stains, this is not good.

Bobby was taken into a questioning room where he filled out many forms and answered a thousand questions. Of course Bobby had done nothing illegal, it all came down to him having been in Tokyo for 8 months in the last year and so he did not meet with the tourist definition. He told them all about his passion for Japanese dancing, the reason he goes so frequently to Tokyo, but you know what they said to him?

'I think you've danced enough!'

After torturing Bobby for 4 hours.... In which time they tried to find out about friends of his in Japan and of course tried to find out if he had been working in Tokyo. Of he hadn't, not to my knowledge anyway. Strangely even with all their paperwork on Bobby they didn't he was in the process of applying for a working visa. That could've spelled danger for Bobby and his work sponsor.

So four hours of nonsense and they finally told him he had to fly back to England on the next available flight. This of course meant Bobby had to pay the massive on the day flight cost.

And so our hero was defeated, a rare defeat it was, but not one that will stay long with good old Bobby. Yes Christmas and New Years is ruined, yes he dreams of continuing his life in Japan, yes money gone, but money comes and goes, not a big concern.

What are Bobby's future plans? Well he plans to wait for his work visa to get green lighted, any time now, and fly back asap. Hopefully he can have everything sorted before January 10th, that's when his sponsor would like him to start work. A matter of waiting, forever waiting. Of course I hear Bobby has a plan B, C and maybe a plan D, but he wouldn't tell me those.

Wow horrible story huh? If that happened to me I'd be pretty devastated. But we now Bobby will not be defeated, he'll get back there to dance and see those kids he loves so much before you know it.

Funnily enough I'm also applying for a work visa in Japan that is due anytime now, maybe I'll have a drink with Bobby in Tokyo sometime. I'll show him around Koenji.

Saturday, 3 December 2011


So here I am back in England, back in the house I grew up in. You'd be forgiven for thinking life has taken a massive turn for the worse, but you'd be wrong. A small setback yes, but nothing more than an inconvenience.

I've been back here for almost one month now, and to be honest it's not all that bad. Of course it's a great thing to see friends and family, and to have a break from work and life. But that's just it, a break from life. I don't need a break. Life back in England is so comfortable, no language barrier, nothing to adjust to, just no effort needed. It'd be oh so easy to get a nice career in teaching and take the comfortable road.

Sofas, pint of Stella mate, town please, how much??

But one thought of those kids and the life I've built in Tokyo and I quickly remember where I should be, who I am. Comfortable was never part of the life plan. Life plan?? There was no life plan, but if there was, comfortable would never be included.

So now I just wait for the word from that ellusive lawyer of mine. Word from immigration that I can continue living my life. Just a sticker in a passport, how difficult can it be, just do it before I sit down for too long and get too comfortable.

Thursday, 3 November 2011

The status of Max

Hey all in Internet land. Thought I'd update you all on what's going on with me and my whole visa situation.

Basically a couple of weeks ago I got word from my lawyer that immigration had rejected my work visa application. Needless to say that was one of the worst days of my life, I thought my life here in japan was over and I've never cried so much in my life. But the next day things got a lot better. I went to immigration with my lawyer who has handled my whole visa application to see the immigration inspector. We went through my application, and it came down to the fact they can't except part time work as previous experience, and you need to have three years experience in your chosen field to get a work visa if you haven't got a degree. So my total work experience added up to just short of three years.... Bollocks!! But the inspector told us to change the one reference, they know the references are bullshit, and I'll get the visa in about four weeks.

So thank god it looks like I'll get this damn visa afterall. It's just a stupid sticker in your passport but it's the key to me living my wonderful life here. Ok so the only bad thing is my current visa runs out on November 9th and I have no choice but to leave the country and wait for my visa to be sorted out. All this means I'll be heading to England on the 9th and staying until either early December or new years at the latest. It's a total bitch having to leave but I will be back soon. I hate that I miss a chunk of my life for no reason, like a couple of big school events and a Parapara DVD filming, but I have no choice.

So that's the status of Max right now, small setback but no big deal.

Monday, 10 October 2011

D-Day is coming.....

Tomorrow is it, D-Day. The day I find out if I get my full work visa or not.

I am nervous as shit let me tell you. Pretty confident I`ll get the green light, and so is my immigration lawyer. I have to get it otherwise my life in Japan is over, and this is where my life is. My job, my friends, my whole damn life. I would seriously have nothing to go back to in England. I went to immigration on Friday and I basically have 30 days left on my current visa. No way is October going to be my last month in Tokyo. How could I ever leave my kids??? I would cry myself to death, I couldn't do it, there's no way, just no way.

BUT... lets not think think that, I`m confident. Please pray for me tomorrow <3

Life changing day!

Life is pretty sweet right now. Adventures a plenty and good times at school. My German housemate just left the other day, it`s weird going back to living alone, but it`s all good.

Went to see a big fireworks bullshit in East Tokyo on Saturday, turned into an allnighter in West Tokyo drinking on the streets with a bunch of straight up Yakuza guys. They were chilled as shit though, chatting about all sorts of shit, including AKB48...

Speaking of AKB48.... I finally won a ticket to see them at their theatre last Sunday. Of course it was awesome. Six months of applying in that damn lottery and I finally got to see them. The best bit was chatting with them briefly after the show and hugging my favorite girl Miorin. I so wanted to give her my number but alas... security. Next time I`ll have business cards ready.

I`m thinking of starting a book, or a blog series more like, about how to life your life like a massive shit. As in me. I think pretty much everything I do and have done in life I`ve done it in the wrong way, but everything is golden, pretty much always. Anyways I have a lot of interesting and dirty things to share that would make for good reading. It`d also make me one hell of an open book.

Monday, 26 September 2011

Let`s Get Shitfaced on Rumham!!

There`s a lot on my mind but where to start.

Life update!

Still doing what I love, loving life, loving Koenji, and forever waiting for my visa to get the green light. School is great, preparing for sports day which is actually a big festival with lots of dancing and fun times. I`m joining the parents and director for a big Kara dance number, it will be awesome.

It`s been great having a room mate, and also a work mate for the past three weeks. He`ll be around for another two weeks, but we`ve been having fun times. We`ve been interviewing people for the job at my other school for the past forever, everyone has been unsuitable until Friday when Garth from Australia came for an interview. perfect guy and he started today. He`s under my wing for a week, but I can see he loves the kids and loves to get down and dirty. Perfect really.

My search for a love life goes on and on. 31 years 3 months and counting. I had the owner of a local bar trying to set me up, but she couldn`t find anyone suitable, and alas everyone else ever is just not interested. But I keep on looking and trying, surely someone one day will want to join me on the adventure that is my life, or maybe not.

Starfire was awesome as ever, as was SEF Deluxe. I think I love to dance parapara the more I do it. I almost felt personally offended when people at SEF didn`t know a bunch of new Starfire routines. Learn them dipshits.

The last season of Curb Your Enthusiasm was gold, and the first two episodes of It`s Always Sunny have been shit the bed funny. Rumham is just genius. Watch both if you have a funny bone.

Friday, 16 September 2011

Crazy On Emotion

Sup faithful stalkers.

I say stalkers because I interviewed a guy at my school for a job position and he knew all about me through my blog.... weird!!! Hello Aaron if you`re reading this.

The last couple of weeks have been fun gonzo times. My ex workmate and good friend David came over to Tokyo. He`s staying for just over a month and is basically my roommate. Really nice having someone around the house and especially at work, just nice to have an adult to talk to. Anyway we`ve been hitting Koenji and Nogata most nights for jub and yakitori delights, meeting lots of new people and just getting up to no good.

There`s a cracking little jub near my house we found, awesome friendly people and cheap beer. What more could you ask for. The Mama who half runs the bar has made it her mission to get me a woman, so next week me and David are going there for a kind of blind date thingy lol. Who am I to argue.

What about 9loveJ???

Ohhhhhh the woe that it is. It`s no more. 9J is gone.

Ok so we still have 9loveJ but it`s no longer a para event. It`s no merged with a huge otaku and dance night in Ginza. When we got there last week there were massive lines to get in and we couldn`t see any para people. It was the weirdest thing ever. Inside was a heaving mass of otaku`s and no para. After awhile we found a set of stairs going to a bassment bar and a tiny dancefloor that was playing a mix of dance, jpop and about 3 para songs. All the para crowd were down there but it sure wasn`t a para night. After awhile we all just got down with the otaku music and a whole lot of AKB48. It was however all you can drink and it wasn`t long before 20 glasses of wine were on the table and drinking games started.

It`s such a shame to lose a big para event, but it is a fun event in it`s own right. I doubt we`ll ever see any more lessons or dvds from 9loveJ ever again. Ah well, Starfire, SEF, B-1, and a bunch of smaller events live on. Starfire and SEF hold the key to the future of para in Japan. If they ever stopped... apart from my life being over I think para would officially die.

That`s all, move along.

Keep checking my youtube for all the lesson videos as ever. Sorry no Starfire lessons I was passed out in the toilet....

Tuesday, 30 August 2011

A K B....... 48!!!!

What an awesome weekend it was just, happy days all round. Koenji Matsuri, Starfire and the DVD release, and....


Yeah that`s right, I finally finally finally got to see my beloved girls live after entering the lottery at least 3 times a week for the last 6 months or more. I can now die happy.

I got invited by a friend to A-nation a few months ago and I`ve been looking forward to it so so much. Wasn`t much interested in the other artists tbh. Oh my God when the girls came out I could have died happy, and LEMON-CHAN!!!!! was in the lineup. I couldn`t believe that, she is like my favorite girl but isn`t very popular, but it was all the main Senbatsu like Acchan and Yuko, and then little Lemon-chan in the back. They sang 6 songs and just the big hits like Beginner, Ponytail etc, but that was more than good enough for me. Oh my god they`re so awesome.

I could gush all day, you get the point. Just amazing!

Apart from AKB48 there were loads of other artists like TRF, Koda Kumi, Ayumi, AAA and a million others. I thought most of them were rubbish performers tbh. Ayumi was soooooo bad, I felt offended at her performance. AAA made me want to kill myself. Koda Kumi was average at best. TRF made my ears bleed.

I really loved Moumoon, she was fantastic.

But I`d say apart from AKB the best performance by a mile was the special secret artist, and that was GACKT!!! Haha I couldn`t believe it. It was his new group Yellow Fried Chickenz and man alive did they put on a great show. Flames, sex, guitars, and Gackt just being Gackt. And to top it off they sang Vanilla, it was just like YES!!! when the intro came on haha. And I don`t even like him.... great performer!

Now to see AKB in their own theater and to meet Ami-chan <3

Apart from that cum fiesta of a day, the weekend bought us Koenji Festival. A huge matsuri featuring traditional dancing and of course, half of west Tokyo drinking their brains to death. I can`t say I remember much of it, flashes of trannies, and memories of people in my house drinking spiritus.... good times.

That evening was Starfire.... I was so So drunk when I got there, I spent the first half passed out on the bathroom floor but came around for the lesson. Great Starfire as ever, I think.

I`ll do a separate post about the DVD but you can download it now over at I`m actually really happy with my video, came out really well.

Tomorrow is the last day before the new school term starts. Summer school has been going as ever this week, with all of 10 kids, but today a bunch of kids came in before the start tomorrow. It was awesome to see Momo and Julia and my football boys. I can`t wait to see everyone on Thursday!!

By the way, everything is back to normal at school, everything is being chilled out again. PHEW!!

Thursday, 18 August 2011

You can fly with me

What up nets.

Summer is in full mother fucking swing in Tokyo, everyday is like walking through a shield of butter. Constant 35c temperatures and 300000000000% humidity, but you get used to it. Whats the one way to combat such devilish heat? Go drink tequila in a river by the mountains you shit.

One of the highlights of the Japanese summer, well the two summers I`ve lived here now, is the mountain BBQ. Oh yes, good people, good food, good drink, THE RIVER.... it`s a brutal combination, and this summer as it happened the two big BBQ`s were on consecutive days and in the same spot.

It started with Starfire BBQ. Just one big river of tequila. You can`t beat sitting in the river with a bottle of tequila playing jan ken shots with everyone, it`s just a beautiful thing.

One of the booze beds...

After everyone left at around 5pm myself, Jasmine and Hiroshi stayed and drank in the river until it got dark and then had a little explore of the area before we spent the night by the river. Sleeping on a bed of rocks... not recommended. Some chunder moments later we were up bright and early and ready to meet the Bonkura BBQ gang for BBQ number two. Of course it got messy, I put my back out for a week, Ylva burnt herself more than a human being should ever EVER, and Jazz got blind BLIND drunk as ever.


Bonkura BBQ group shot.

In the riverrrrr

Me, Jasmine and Ylva <3

What else has been going down? Well apart from the usual clubbing, jubbing, boozing and living the dream, we hit up Campus Summit 2011.... because we got 50 free tickets and it was all you can drink. It was fun, me and Jazz got many strange stares for dancing to a little techpara set that was played. Jasmine was throwing cocktail bombs at egg models and we lost ever to the sea of gals. Standard stuff...

Made my bedroom into a darts bar... me and a mate are on a quest to become good darts players, but good while drunk. Expect to see us winning every league in the coming months. Of course you need darts names. Mine is Bobby Dazzler, and my my team mate is Terry Darts. Perfect!

Ah shit now Kevin is out of the country I better start recording the parapara lessons again... just thinking.

Work is still a little weird, but always getting better. I`ve had some problems over the last few months if you didn`t know. It`s just the Japanese work way. STILL waiting for my full work visa to be accepted. My lawyer has had to tweak and diddle the paperwork a few times so it`s exactly what immigration want. He won`t stop until he gets it me, which is pretty sweet. It`s just because I don`t have a degree that`s it`s taking so long, you wouldn`t believe how much work experience I have now... I now speak 4 languages, have done translation work, taught, and a million other jobs.

It`s actually the summer holidays at school, has been for about a month and continues until September 1st, but for some reason I`m working every single day. I`ve given myself a summer mission to repaint the whole school. Which in reality means I can laze about a lot and say I`m going to buy more paint when really I`m going for a beer. No but seriously I am on a mission and hopefully it will surprise and delight the powers that be and put me firmly in the good books when term restarts.

Woah earthquake, house shaker....


Not much planned for the weekend. It seems everything ever is next weekend, as always is the way. Koenji festival is Saturday and Sunday and could be deadly. Starfire is Saturday night, and of course the DVD release! Sunday is a bastard because it`s SEF deluxe and Avex Nation Concert. Avex Nation is where I finally FINALLY get to AKB48 live for the first time ever. I`ll probably faint.

What else? On a diet, or rather eating better and less. There was just an obscene amount of bread and Coke in my diet. Why? Because a gorgeous girl said she`d go out with me if I lose a massive amount of weight. What a bitch, but I can at least try.

I`ll love you and leave you

Thursday, 28 July 2011

Starfire DVD Filming,

Yeah just another day of making those life ambitions come true.

So this past Saturday was the filming for the next Starfire DVD, which will be a Starfire Vs B-1 DVD and have a shit ton of tracks that have been taught at B-1 over the past year or so, as well as a brand new euro track. Ouuuuu exciting! I`d tell you all the tracklist but then Banchou would cut my balls off and I`d be deported. But I think if editing goes well it should be out on Saturday. So of course expect a rip here.

So on Friday we finally got to know our song, one I hardly knew at all, and with 9loveJ on Friday night that didn`t leave much time to learn it. But learn it I did, and me and Sofia had a quick practice before 9J and all was good.

I better say a few words on the last 9loveJ in Shinjuku, and those words are `bullshit`. Worst para night around, but great for getting hospital drunk.

Saturday morning hit and I had a top 3 hangover, and if you know how many bad hangovers I`ve had, top 3 means I contemplated suicide. But it all worked out! Saturday was a community festival on my school grounds and around the school shrine, so a few friends came over to enjoy that with me. It was tough times because if you know Japanese matsuri`s you know half of it is about getting drunk and just having a blast. But with the filming starting at 11pm I really had to try and stay sober. Good news is I did just that. The matsuri itself was great, so traditional Japan. Stalls of food and booze, and kids games, as well as traditional dance on the stage. Of course loads of the Mums and kids were there, I love love local matsuri`s just for the fact the Mums get drunk and I get to see them not give a shit. It wasn`t long before I got distracted and started playing with some of the kids, how can I not.

Love it!!

I would have loved to have cracked on with people but time was short and I had to hit the studio in Edogawabashi for the filming.

I got there at 11:30pm and already Harumi and Satomi had done one song. All the gaijin crew were there getting ready, Kevin, Heather, Sofia, and Amber. So it was like 11:30pm and Ryohei calls me over to ask if me and Jasmine would dance a different song. Yeah sure... we don`t know that one... any other song on the list but that one... So we asked Kee-tan to show us the routine and filmed her quickly, and then hit the changing room to learn it. It didn`t take us long before we thoughtwe had it perfect, and then it was just a matter of chilling and watching everyone else before us. We were on at 3:30am.

Out of everyone I think me and Jasmine were the least nervous, but then when it came time to get up and strike that starting pose.... the nerves well and truly kicked in, it was like I forgot how to dance. We went from having it down perfect to looking like a pair of dickheads. After like 10 mess ups we finally got it, but when we saw the replay it was rubbish, just no good at all. Me and Jazz just sat there sulking and being angry at ourselfs for the next couple of hours and then decided fuck it, we can`t have that as our finished dance. So we asked Banchou if we could have another go when everyone was done and they were more than happy.

So some intense practicing later we got up infront of the camera a hell of a lot less nervous and after one mess up nailed it. So I`m still not 100% happy, but at least we don`t look like total dipshits. You can see on our faces in the final take how serious and focused we were, not a hint of a smile, it was all business.

Heather, Amber and Sofia did pretty well I thought. Amber especially seeing she learned her routine on the night and isn`t a para veteran like the rest of us. Kevin you tell was really nervous but he really pulled it off, and I know he will only get better.

So second DVD done, I hope the third will be easier!

Thursday, 21 July 2011

Hong Konged like a bastard!

Yo yo!

Well I`ve been a busy boy, going off on all sorts of gonzo adventures, and as you probably know, I went to Hong Kong for a long weekend just over a week ago. I`d like to say it was for a holiday, but alas, my visa is still being processed so I just ran out of time and had to exit the country. You know what I`m talking about....


So I flew into Hong Kong on the Saturday, and as I`ve seen from the air before, it`s a beautiful city when you land. The mountains, the bay, the famous architecture. Hong Kong airport was like any UK airport, little did I know that was a hint of things to come. So similar to Gatwick and Heathrow in London. I hopped on the train and took in the mountains and beautiful bay, and the tower blocks, and the cranes, and the.... must be a developing part of the island. Cracked a taxi to hotel and was amazed at how everything is like England. The buses, road works, double yellow lines, the shops. I could list a million things.

Ahhhh the hotel.... ohhhhh shit!! What did I book myself into!!??

i did a shit ton of research on the best hostel in HK, and found Paris Guesthouse which is run by a British ex-army guy. Good reviews, very central. So I booked the super deluxe room and hoped for the best. What a fucking shithole!!!!!!!

It was in what I now know is the world famous Chungking Mansions tower block. Famous for all the wrong reasons. It`s basically a tower block with the dirtiest market on the ground floor, ran by a mix of the Indian, African and just generally nasty people that will rape your Mum just to fuck with you. I had to walk through half of the market to get to the elevator to go up to my luxury suite... After fearing for my life in that deathtrap, the doors open and I`m greeted with murder alley and about four doors, none of which have any signs on... I go in the first door and I`m greeted with a grunt by an Indian guy who`s on the verge of suicide.

Yes this is the reception to Paris Guesthouse. Errr ok, so whats my name? No I`m not giving you my passport or any details until you give me some goddamn motherfucking ID!! It turned out ok, but I already knew this was going to be bad times. And where was the British guy??? Tied up in a closet no doubt. I was taken to the 10th floor where the smell was unbearable... was it death? More like poverty. My room was actually ok. Imagine half the size of a student room, but with no window, the smell of death, and cockroaches crawling up your leg. After showering and defunking the room the best I could it was time to get the fuck out of there!!

Lets just forget about Chungking Mansions shall we.... but please one last word. Don`t ever stay there, whatever you do!!!! You will not be as lucky as me and you will die in a bath of sand.

Ok so onto the nice parts of Hong Kong.... Let me just say I took a million photos all on my ipod, but the cable is gone, so they stay on the pod for now.

My first call of business on this Saturday evening was to meet with Ken and some of the HK parapara people. They took me to dinner and were just the nicest people ever. Oh the food? Let`s just say I`ve had better.... out of a bin.... sorry I wasn`t a fan of the food, it was just all so bland for my taste. Oh how I longed for the breads of Japan!!

Speaking of breads, the 7eleven there was just an English newsagents. You could buy UK chocolate and drinks, great, but not a patch on Japans version. Chinese beer you ask? I have pissed tastier beer into my shoe. Seriously bad. I had to resort to Stella....

Ah yes but I digress... After dinner we walked up Nathan Road, which is just Oxford Street, and into the lovely park where the guys and gals wre holding a parapara meeting in a dance studio. It was great meeting everyone there and I had tons of fun, awesome bunch of people who made me feel right at home! Afterwards we hit a restaurant (why does nowhere serve booze??) but after a couple of hours I was fading and so tired from the travel.

Ahhhh shit I forgot to mention I transfered in Beijing, they take the crown for rudest airport. Paris is now down to second! YOU MAKE ME SICK!!!

Sunday I awoke from my cockroach invested slumber to head out and meet up with Ken. Man alive is it hot there. About the same temperature as Tokyo, 35c, but 2000000% humidity compared to Tokyo`s 1000000%.

I`d planned some history walks around the islands, you know because I have a massive love of history and architecture, you didn`t, well now you do. I often go on history walks around Tokyo by myself, it`s a beautiful thing. Seeing as British history is my favorite subject I had to check out a whole bunch of shit in HK. As luck had it, Ken used to be a tour guide, so we headed over to HK Island to check out some architecture. Some lovely collonial buildings as well as the gorgeous new sky scrapers, yes that`s the HK I had been expecting! I have an amazing story about three buildings which face each other but it`s hard to explain without photos. So another time! Knifes, cannons and don`t reflect me you bastard!!!

After the culture we headed out of the city to a monster arcade to meet some people and get some para gaming done XD Great arcade! Food food and then they totally indulged me by taking me to the touristy bar area. Hong Kong really doesn`t seem to be big on drinking so this one big u-bend of a street with a thousand bars on was just Brits on tour.

OI OI!!!!

It might as well have been Ibiza. Well I can see how it`d be fun to have a weekend with mates getting fucked up, but even saying that there`s better cheaper places in Asia.

As it happened it was Beerfest 2011 on the street.... but we only caught the last hour, which just meant retreating indoors for drinks. Well I had to taste the touristy nightlife of HK and there it was. Leveled down on Ju-beat, as is the way when drunk, and then hit a taxi home. Taxi`s are cheap as shit, as is most of HK. Infact I found it hard to spend my money.

Monday was my last full day and a day I planned to spend at the history museum and just wandering the city. The museum was awesome, I was really looking forward to seeing all the British items there and I wasn`t disappointed! I ended up spending most of the day there and didn`t even see the end before it started to close. I had a good wander around London.... I mean Kowloon. It is just central London tbh, just not as exciting.

Late at night on my last day, only one thing left to do, para filming!!

I met up with Ken and Yuki (great girl and you should check out her para videos!!) and headed to the bay to film a million and ten videos. It was great because just about all of them were one take and me and Yuki fit really well as a para team. Anyway, I had a blast and it was a great way to end the adventure.

So Hong Kong was not what I was expecting, I wouldn`t recommend it as a holiday, but the people were fantastic! Thanks to everyone for making me feel so welcome. I`ll totally come over for the HK parapara 11th anniversary!

I`ll upload a million videos and photos next time.

For the record I had no problems getting through immigration in Tokyo, and boy do I know that Japan is my home!

Saturday, 2 July 2011

Cunt weekend

Yo yo longtime no post!

I`ve been busy busy busy with Birthday weeks, work, and just plain old having fun. Haven`t had much internet time, which is always good. I really hate sitting on my arse like a giant silly cunt. Sorry that`s my word of the weekend `cunt`. Everything this weekend is just one massive cunt.

Well my Birthday week started off on the right.... foot with SEF Deluxe as you may have read. This was followed by a nice easy B-1 Dynamite where I got my wish just to dance. The big Birthday weekend came and beat me up as I fully expected. It started with a house party at my mansion, and I mean mansion. Loads of people pulled out last minute like the massive cunts they are, but it left a great group of friends that made for an awesome night. Well, with two bottles of Spiritus it was always gonna be a good night. I was serenaded with a beautiful rendition of `If Living is Without You` by Mariah, fantastic! I`m sure it was a great night but alas the next thing I remember was waking up on my living room floor with a bucket next to my head, the house empty but for a few silhouettes of people in another room.

Good night indeed!

I woke up at midday feeling still very much drunk, the days mission was to sober up for the nights big event that was Starfire. I can`t say I did that very weel. Before I could blink I was at an izakaya having a beer before Starfire, and then BAM!


I danced, I tried to stay away from the booze that was being thrown in my face, but then of course it was Birthday time. At Starfire on your Birthday, if you`re awesome, you get to sit in the Birthday sofa and have a cake and a bottle of champagne. Or rather everyone shouts down it and you have to down the bottle as fast as you can and the cake ends up on everyone's face.

Here`s the video, it`s on Kevin Dary`s facebook so I don`t think I can embed it here. But here`s the link:!/video/video.php?v=10150220647572142&comments


I ended up in toilet chundering with Uga lol. Banchou payed for my Birthday, what an awesome guy!! I felt like I beat Starfire by being able to walk at the end, other people weren`t so lucky...

All in all a fantastic Birthday week, and thanks to everyone, love to you all!!

If you haven`t noticed I`ve stopped filming the parapara club lessons, just because Kevin `Mr Techpara` films them all and uploads them faster than I can. But let me know if you want me to continue filming them. I`ll crack some DVD uploads in the mean time next week. Magical Rave DVD s that is.... Tsu XD

In other life news, I`m still waiting to hear from the visa people. I should receive my working visa any day now, but man is time getting short. My current visa runs out on July 12th, so if I don`t get my visa next week I`ll have to think about leaving the country, even if it`s only for a few days or a week. Can`t leave for any longer, I have work and BBQ`s to go to!

Speaking of work, they flipped the script on me the past week with a bunch of teachers getting on my back about having a 30 minute break and there seems to be a total lack of trust at the minute. It`s like the last year and a half have counted for nothing. I really hope my dream job suddenly doesn`t turn sour. All they have to do is let me do the job I`m payed for, am brilliant at, and have been doing with no complaints for the last year and a half. It`s going to be interesting to see how things pan out. Just let me play with Lemon-chan and the gang!!

There`s a small chance I could have a date with an actual girl sometime soon. I`ve been being way more forward and just saying `I`d love to take you out for dinner and drinks sometime.` This one girl I met ages ago got in touch again out of the blue and we`ve been texting. Who knows, maybe it`ll lead to actual face to face contact....

You know if you are reading this and live in Tokyo... wanna get a drink sometime... If you have a pulse you meet my requirements!

But all is good good good, lets just hope for the love of God the whole visa thing gets done soon soon soon.

I`m meant to be going to a gal circle event which starts... now, but alas a mix of people being busy, lazy, or just not getting back to me means I think I`ll have to give that a miss. Really don`t fancy that on my own. But Magical Rave is later, nothing will stop me going to that!


Sunday, 19 June 2011

Top 50 hangover, SEF equals tequila

Thank God I have Monday off work because I have a top 50 hangover right now. One of those where suicide is a realistic option... oh the pain. I`ll survive as Gloria once said. The cause of this almighty hangover??


Ah man I have so little memory of the night. One minute I was sipping tequila cocktails and the next I woke up on the floor at Roppongi crossing, no wallet, no ipod, no glasses, no money, no memory. But after talking to people I have pieced together what happened like a detective!

Ok so remember it`s my Birthday on Thursday so yesterday marked the start of my Birthday week, and I have Monday off work, so I knew SEF would get messy. But it started off so well. I met Heather and guest gaijin para star Kevin, aka Mr Techpara from France. We hit the sushi and beers in yoyogi park before meeting up with Jasmine and heading to SEF. It was great as ever, good songs, good dancing, good people. By the way, Kevin is a better dancer in person than on his videos, which is awesome seeing as his videos are great...

Techno people like Yoshi and Keihei were coming up to me asking who my friend is and `wow he`s awesome`. If Kevin lived here I have no doubt he`d be dancing with Ryuichi and Yoshi on the Starfire DVDS. It`s nice not being the best gaijin techno dancer in Japan anymore XD

But I digress, where was I?

Ah yeah, all was going well, two drinks down and the lessons started, then.....


I woke up at Roppongi Crossing all my possessions gone, feeling like crap, my shirt ripped, wax all over my shorts, an earring in my shoe and no money in my pocket. What the hell??? So according to others I chundered at SEF and had to be carried out by Kenya.... Thank you Kenya! Heather took all my stuff for safe keeping at least. When I got my senses I decided to get a taxi home seeing I have money at home.

I`m such a dickhead sometimes, I really wish this would stop happening, it`s not like I planned to get really drunk or anything. I also really REALLY friends would stop leaving me for dead on the streets. I know I must be a handful when I`m drunk but I would never ever leave people I care for on the streets like that. It`s not much to ask to have your friends look after you now and again is it? No worries this time, but you know... next person that does that... don`t expect to ever speak to me again.... just saying.

Anyway it`s awesome to have another gaijin in Tokyo thats super into para like I am. I have Heather and Jasmine sure, but they might go to 1 out of 5 events I go to. And nice to have a guy around! Just need Alex to get his ass over here and we`d have the best gaijin para team ever.

Anyway, day off work today. Disco 90s tomorrow and B-1 Dynamite on Wednesday, I fear for my liver and glasses there where I can`t escape the tequila. Maybe my birthday wish should be don`t get me drunk, let me dance!!!! Friday I`m having a Birthday house party bonanza at my place. I have a huge house, a pro dj setup in the living room, so it should be awesome. I`m seeing if Banchou or Daisuke wanna DJ My own personal Starfire XD

Saturday of course is Starfire where it`ll be mine, Kee-tan and Ryohei`s birthday. Nothing good can come from this!!!

Oh yeah, the lessons at SEF Deluxe.... I have no memory but Kevin uploaded the techno to youtube and I`ll get the euro asap for you para freaks.

Monday, 13 June 2011


Oh Mondays how you bore me so very much.

So let`s call those top ten song lists, newer songs top ten, huh? So how about about stuff? Well lets do a `off the top of my head top ten list for post Para Para Paradise songs that are always ALWAYS played in the clubs. I`d call this era of para 3rd boom and the last two years songs (or maybe a bit more) 3.5 boom. The general opinion of para people in japan is there was no 4th boom, maybe one day. I know how us westerners love to call all the recent stuff 4th boom.

Ah wait... who cares... boring...

3rd Boom Club Hit List!

Let the Rain
looka Boomba
Like a Fire
Shock Out
Love is the Name of Love
Time For a Miracle
Can Can World
Yes I will
Final Destination
Gas Gas Gas
original Sin
Beautiful Day
Sex (Max) Crime
Super Rider

Get the idea??

ParaPara Paradise Hit List

Dance and Party
Want to be Your Emotion
24 Hours a Day
Kingdom of Rock
shadows in the Night
Play the Music
Hot Vampire
Dance in the Fire
Kiss Me Kiss Me Babe
Night Clubbin
Big Brother
Lucky Tango
Express Love
Fight Fore Your Empire <3 Power Gun Easy Techno `Always played God These Songs Bore Me` Hit List!

Esto Es La Vida (or whatever)
Techno Shock
Fly Me So High (kill me now this is one boring ass routine)
Tokyo Go!
Made In New York
Just Play The Music
So What!
Hyper techno Mission
Kams Quest?
Bandido.... BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TRF songs...
Move Songs
I hate these
Everythings Gonna Be Alright
Babe You Got The Key
El Diablo
So High
You Just Want Sex

These routines feel like I`m just going through the motions when they come on, and at B-1 everyweek there is always a set of these bullshit bastards. I`d love to just sit down and give them a miss but my body can`t refuse the para...

Songs that are regularly played that you wouldn`t think are popular hit list...

Let`s Turn It Up
Radio Tokyo
Baby Blue
Raining In My Heart
Dream Of You
Body To Body
Let The Rain
Fire On The Beat
Vision Of Paradise
Kingo Kingo Beat

Ok I`ll stop there... hope these interest someone out there. I`m thinking I might start filming at least one popular but somewhat obscure club routine every week so everyone else can learn them. Good idea? Maybe I`ll get a guest para star each week to join me XD

Sunday, 12 June 2011


It`s been one of those rare no para weekends in Tokyo. Or rather as always is the way, I have nothing going on for 99% of the week, everyone is busy and the one day people want to do something is the only day filled with para events in Tokyo. Alas today (Sunday) is para free and people free, boring days.

B-1 Dynamite last Wednesday, awesome as ever, not that many people there but fun fun fun. The lesson was Like a Child by E-Type again, a routine that`s really growing on me, I`ll have to learn it before Wednesday fo sho. Ryuichi said he forgot the routine and relearned it from my youtube video. Funny! I`ll have to watch what I say when I film the lessons now I know people from the clubs watch them....

Nobody found my top 10 euro dancers ranking interesting? Maybe it was a bit pointless if you don`t actually go the clubs here.... Maybe an all time greatest para dancers ranking would be more interesting huh? Hit me with yours people! I am so doing a ranking of international paralists. Oh the hate it would cause.... Oh and I can`t believe I forgot Hitoshi from Starfire, he is without a doubt in my top 5.

Another thing I`ve been meaning to start is a monthly song ranking. As in what songs are popular in the para clubs in Tokyo at the minute. So here is the euro and techno top 10 tunes for May:

Euro rankings

1 - Samurai Blue
2 - New Horizon
3 - I Won`t Fall Apart
4 - Because of You
5 - 1,2,3,4 Fire
6 - Baby Come Back to Me
7 - Let the Rain
8 - Eldorado
9 - Passport to Dance
10 - Yes I Will

Techno rankings

1 - Hellworld
2 - Midnight
3 - Dragon
4 - Virgin
5 - Will I See You Again
6 - Future
7 - Just Like a Gun
8 - Stay You World
9 - Arrancar??
10 - Killer

These rankings are so not official in any way and totally off the top of my head thinking back over the last month of para in Tokyo. And remember the only regular club now B-1 Dynamite so the tastes of the DJ`s there shape this a hell of a lot...

Here at long last is the 9loveJ DVD from May:

Kiwami Euro Best

Enjoy and share share share! If anyone has any tips for DVD ripping please hit me up. I use isofter and get the custom settings the best I can, but it never comes out perfect and the opening always comes at the end for some reason... help?

I`m off for a big Jubeat session in Nakano, today is the day Air Raid falls!!

Saturday, 11 June 2011


Well it`s 3:30am on a Saturday morning, I`m drunk, the wine, the champagne, the rum, the beer, it`s all good.

Life it`s a bollock isn`t it. I love it and angst in equal measures. Maybe, I`m sure I love it more than not. Yeah I love it but I do long for more, don`t we all? Yeah we do but so do I but I don`t. What do I want? Who knows? Do I? No not really. I have no idea. Career is beautiful, love it, fuck me I love it, so much I wish it was Monday tomorrrow not Sunday. It`s done, it`s sorted, just more people are needed I guess, but then I have people so don`t be greedy. BASTARD!!!! Don`t do it, no need.



I don`t know, someone to share those simple things withs. Samurai Blue? yep. Came on but who is complaining? Not me. Why? Kicking up the light? Wish there was para tomorrow, but alas not so bread and jubeat is on, call it off? Well maybe. Bloody hell it`s all just wasting time isn`t it? Life????? Wasting time. Constantly wasting time waiting for something more but what???? I feel my life wasting away the big thing on the horizon, the visa, get it anfd then what? Dreams comne true of course, no doubt, no doubt indeed. What then??? Visions of something. But what????

Horizons.... of course that was done of course.... of course. What next? Something? Nothing? Not nothing, never nothing, I strive for everything, but something? Yes. it must be. But what???? WHAT??????? Who can say??? I can. Surely. I am the one in control of things. Lets get to it. NOW!!!!!!!!!! WOAH!!!!! Get on it, be pro active, no doubt about it, it comes to those who wait.


Yes of course

I hate this blog system, strangers reading, I don`t know you, do you know me? NO of course not, rubbish I don`ty think this is a viable option. Getting drunker,,,, is that a word? Doubtful. But who cares.....

Leave this for a minute and take some rum....

tap tap enter enter

A message, someone needs my words..... pointless drivel.....

The options???? More booze, more booze, more booze, or passout, or more booze in the school beer garden. It all equals brilliant whatvever. But wait, the toilet calls, I will return, I`m on a ro,ll and I can`t ruin a golden gonzo moment. GONZO??? More like MAKKUSU,,,,, right. What a twat.

Just a second...


End... not really, feeling more alive. FUCK!!!!! It must end, it will. Be back....

i hate to try and be Gonzo, the great man I am not, my drunken self only brings out these words and nothing more, what more do you want????

FUCK FUCK FUCK..... I miss england right now but then again not, I miss a few people. Would love it to see them but it`s here where the life is, life is right here, you can`t deny, are you a fool??? Walk through those streets of Koenji, alive with the sights and sounds of my life, everything I love right here in one small district, done, in, perfect, fuck, love it.

It calls to me with a pulse, a heart beat that says my name, my place is right here, no doubt about that. Now? Wine calls my name, wine in a paper cup, classy it is not but I never claimed I was. Perfect more like. Then what? More rum? or passout? well I can`t decide that, not for me.

Those smells of Japan, of Koenji. I love it, you`d love it too. Fuck my life the smell of my school, of my life. fantastic.

Ah shit light is showing over the horizon, it tells me to stop but I must go on. Fuck I`m getting sober and I feel like drinking until I passout. This can only mean downing what is left of my wine and moving outdoiors to the rum. I hear birds, the dawn is coming, I wonder if anyone knows I`m in my schoiol at 4am,,,,, fuck me what am J doing????

I miss ginger people.... and stoners...

Must go and do something the dawn is getting stronger,

Monday, 6 June 2011

Tokyo Top 10 Euro Dancers Ranking

This is just a bit of fun, something I`ve been meaning to do. Please remember this is just my opinion.


1 - Kee-tan *Stafire*
2 - Uga *SEF Deluxe*
3 - Harumi *Stafire*
4 - Ryohei *Starfire*
5 - Innochi *Starfire*
6 - Sattomi *Starfire*
7 - Saki *9loveJ*
8 - Take *Starfire*
9 - Manami *SEF Deluxe*
10 - Kaori? *Magical Rave*

18 - Max XD

Zero thought in that. What are other people`s top 10 or 5?

I should do a international ranking, oh the dramas that would cause!


Still haven`t uploaded that 9loveJ DVD, what a dickhead!! Sorry about that, I`m having to use the school computer for any internet needs, but will get it uploaded tomorrow. It`s really not that good anyway...

Lot`s of parapara has happened in the past week or so. We had 9loveJ, Starfire, Chiba Rave, Magical rave, and of course a couple of B-1 Dynamites and even a Disco 90s. Phew, that`s a lot of para!

9loveJ was the first one this year I think, or at least the first I`ve been to. The last one was meant to be in March but mother nature fucked that up. Ah 9loveJ and your poor playlist, it inevitably turns into one big drunken party with not a lot of actual dancing going. Some of the Starfire crew came along and were drunk drunk DRUNK before they even got there, I don`t think they lasted long. Certain people *cough* Kee-tan *cough* were falling into the dj booth lol and celebrating a birthday that isn`t until next month. Classic!

Memories of food fights and Jasmine chundering on herself. Classy days! There were a lot of people there though, so I hope they hold it next month as well.

The lesson was Aitakatta by AKB48 of course. Well everyone knows I`m a massive AKB fan and yes I did cream my pants. Average routine but who cares it`s AKB! Anyway you can see that and all the recent lessons on my youtube channel as ever:

Starfire was the very next day. BRUTAL!!! As always an awesome night, as good as parapara get`s in Japan. They had the now monthly tequila challenge on stage, five people, a glass of tequila each, fastest one to down it wins.... who knows. I don`t think anyone wins, maybe a free month of Starfire lol. GREAT! I took part in this months challenge though... I got busted for drinking to early so Bancho poured me even more, no way could I drink that much so I just took the full glass for drinking games with everyone else. SMART!!

It`s so awesome when it`s me, Jasmine and T-Rexx dancing at the front of the stage together and it`s just normal. YES!!

B-1 Dynamite last week was pretty sweet. There`s two rooms at Roppongi Forum, usually they have main euro and techno on the main floor and maniac or oldies in the other room. Last week was techno only in the smaller room, so I spent a lot of time in there. DJ Backie played loads of good stuff from all the clubs, I was in my element!

Chiba Rave on Friday was a Starfire DVD release night, that would be the DVD I`m on if you didn`t know XD Weird having your own video playing on the screens. Pretty crap night, not many people there and they played way to much old crap. Man I HATE HATE HATE old euro and techno now. I hope next month is better.

Magical Rave, me and Jasmine were already very drunk from a free bar in the afternoon at the Swedish Embassy, dirty times. Was an average Magical Rave, they played some good stuff but way to much average stuff.

What do I consider average stuff? Songs like God Knows, Para Girl, you know those routines that just aren`t that much fun anymore. Fun routines for me would be stuff like Let the Rain, Legendary Heart, Baby Come Back, Sex Skiller etc Just stuff that makes you really happy to dance. But I guess it`s different for everyone.

You know I hate to say it but isn`t the para scene in Japan full of weirdo`s. I do laugh sometimes when I look at the dancefloor and it`s full of such strange people. Of course I`m one to talk... weirdo number one. But I wonder why parapara attracts such axe murderers... I guess it`s just the whole otaku anime and gaming connection, and the fact to a lot of people parapara is more about collecting routines like collecting Yu Gi Oh cards.

Anyway it`s hot as a mother fucker, summer is starting to hit Tokyo hard so it`s time for an ice cream.

Thursday, 2 June 2011

Thundersome bye bye and other ranting/musing

Ok FINALLY settled in at my new place, I guess I better explain what happen. It`s been a bit of a roller coaster couple of weeks.

The short story of it is one of my housemates did a bit of a cunt move on me and Jasmine, she emailed us both to say she`d moved out, but with only a weeks notice until the next rent was due. Total cunt move because it was quite obvious me and Jasmine couldn`t afford that extra massive chunk of rent within a week. So after a lot of panic and calming down and panicking again we made a decision, we would leave the Thunderdome.


So Jasmine left for Chiba and I made arrangements to move into the almost empty house my school owns. There`s many ups and downs to this move. Living in a massive family house is a major plus, my god is it nice to have space again. Living almost in the school is awesome, leave late, take an after nap... it`s all good. The downside`s are most definitely living on my own, I really miss coming home to people and being able to tell someone about my day. Alas I don`t have that, and it`s back to the days of going days without talking to anyone over the age of 6. Boooo!!

It`s totally the end of an era though. The Thunderdome was such a fun time, I`ll never forget it. It was the longest I have lived in one place away from my family home, and leaving Jasmine is almost leaving my wife, we`ve had such a cosy living situation for what seems like forever.

But ah well, cunt move is done and we all move on. It has really made me realize I need more friends in Tokyo, I don`t what it is about Tokyo but I don`t have a trouble making casual acquaintances, but turning them into people that actually want to hangout is a difficult thing. It`s weird because I always seem to be pretty liked wherever I go, but getting someone to give me their phone number to actually do something another time, like pulling teeth.

That`s the one major downside working at an all Japanese school, I can`t really be friends with the other teachers. I don`t think they would want to be anyway, they barely say two words to me in a week as it is.

Jerry Seinfeld put it perfectly when he said `people are impossible to meet. They`re all around us everyday, we can`t get away from them, yet we can`t meet any of them. UNMEETABLE!!`

Very true.

I do long for a companion I have to say, a WOMAN... I could fall in love with a guy or girl, of course, but a guy equals no kids. But yes, I have lately, as in god knows how long yearned for a girlfriend. Again, I`m a liked guy, I`m funny, interesting (I hope), but this leads to not a crumb of success when it comes to women. Hanami a month or so ago got me texting with a girl, but she stopped replying, alas that`s the closest thing I`ve ever come to dating or anything like that. I would just love someone to share things with, that`s all.

My advert to the world:

Wanted: WOMAN.... must have a pulse, must be happy. That`s it.

I don`t know this is just constantly on my mind, I mean I`ll be turning 31 next month, I think I`ve been alone long enough. I guess my Mum grilling me about all this on the phone the other really made me a bit sad. She asked me don`t I think about having a girlfriend, and for the first time ever I told her yeah I do, I just can`t seem to do it right. One is a lonely boy.

But hey I`m not complaining, I never would, life is pretty awesome.

Thank god for drunken prostitute adventures I won`t die a virgin...


Tomorrow, 9J DVD, weekend para report.
Soon, top 10 rankings of Tokyo euro and techno dancers, top 10 rankings of euro and techno in the Tokyo clubs at the minute. Gonna start doing that every week.

Sunday, 29 May 2011


You can find all three lesson videos from the weekend on my youtube, so go go learn learn!

I'll rip the 9J DVD and update about everything tomorrow when I have access to a computer at work. I'm all iPod at the minute.

Starfire was just the most fun I could ever have, praise be! Tonight is the last night in the legend that is the thunderdome (my apartment), tomorrow I move into the house that is almost in my school, but only for a month and a half until my visa should be sorted out.

じゃ また ね!

Saturday, 28 May 2011


Just a quick iPod update. I'm just finishing moving house hence the lack of updates.

9loveJ was awesome last night, a total drunken blur of food fights, to much booze, chunder and the odd bit of dancing. I don't much care for the playlist there but thats what I have B-1 for. The lesson was Aitakatta by AKB48, I creamed my pants. It's up on YouTube. I got a DVD which I'll hit you all with tomorrow. It's a joint wa euro DVD between club J and Starfire.

Speaking of Starfire, that's tonight. Always the best para night. Should be awesome.

Will update more about everything tomorrow when I've finished moving.

Saturday, 14 May 2011

Conquered a MOUNTAIN!!

Long time no post!

I've been a busy bunny recently. I think... yeah I've done quite a bit actually. So...


Golden Week in Japan came and went in the blink of an eye, I spent the first half of it relaxing and the second half CONQUERING A MOUNTAIN!! In a bid to join the rest of Japan and do something traditional, myself and a couple of mates headed out to the western edge of Tokyo to Mount Mitake. I adore the mountains around Japan, they really are breathtaking, and Mount Mitake is no different.


Getting the train from Ome to Mitake was amazing, the scenery took my breath away.

It was a pity it was such an overcast foggy day, it meant there was no view from Mitake. Usually you can see right across the skyscrapers of central Tokyo and Mount Fuji on the other side. Alas you could hardly see your hand infront of your face on this day. The sign in the picture says 'Skytree'....

Climbing mountains in Japan is very different to the west I think, it's not really climbing, more following as path and taking a cable car. The best thing about mountains in Japan is they have plenty of booze stops along the way, so hot sake was at along the way as well as beers at the 2000 year old shrine at the very top.

We made the mistake of walking all the way down to the waterfall, which was pretty lame, but it meant we had to walk back up half the mountain. Now that was a beast!

A lovely day out of the chaos that is central Tokyo, but at the end of the day I do love that chaos.

Last Saturday I was invited by my friend Kee-tan to her parents house for a dinner party, what an amazing house that was, I had such a good time. Her Dad is in a band and they were playing away all night long, it felt more like a jazz bar.

Later that evening me, Ke-tan and ryohei headed to a random para night down the road. They had a projector playing random para DVDs on the wall. It was weird seeing us three on wall as your sitting there having a drink... For the record it was a really bad para night.

That weekend I went into para overload actually. I hit Chiba Euro Rave on the Friday, the Throb on Saturday and Megahit on Sunday. I was exhausted halfway through Megahit. Oh yeah, B-1 Dynamite had a Golden Week special as well which was so much fun, lots of people there, unlike this week... but it was raining like a mother fucker.


Work is fantastic fun as ever. I adore the new years kids, they are all fantastic, I have a whole crew of awesome kids to play with, I'm almost neglecting the older years because the youngest kids are so much fun. This past week they started having lunch at school for the first time, I've been looking forward to eating with them all, lunch times are comedy times. I get told off by the teachers as much as the kids for being to loud and playing to much...

We had one of our big field trips recently where the whole school got on buses and headed out west to an amazing park for a big picnic and play day.

Coach trips with kids are just the best, fun fun fun. All the Mums came as well, so I got to have lunch with them as well as the kids. I ate with my favorite girl Akane and her Mum who I know quite well.

As is usual with field trips the Mums always make me lots of food, I ate so much that day. I laughed how the other teachers all ate together away from the kids, and I was only one eating with them. They find it funny how I really do enjoy spending time with the kids, of course they all love the kids but it's still a job to them all, for me I'd do this job for free.

After lunch we played for a few hours in the park and rolled around in the dirt. I came back to the coach looking like I'd been in a war. The coach back I sat with the awesome pair that is Akane and Reina.

Those two are comedy legends, we were joking about all the way home while the rest of the coach was asleep. Their Mum's were happy I took them off their hands, my pleasure!! Great day!!

Everything at work is awesome over all. Obviously the kids are amazing as ever, and the school director loves what I do more and more it seems. I've been put incharge of hiring a new foreign guy do the same job as me at the sister school. I have to advertise, interview, and pick the guy. They really do trust me there. I still wise the other teachers would speak to me more, or more than one word a week.... but it's all good.

What else blog worthy happened to me??

Ohhhh I went to the local elementary school as part of their book festival where I read English books to kids.

I love going to that school and seeing lots of kids that graduated my school over the past two years, they all come running up to me and want to play.

After the reading was done I had lunch outside with some of the kids and then got to watch some taiko drumming and cheerleading displays from some of the kids.

One of the cheerleading teams was made up of kids from my school, they were awesome of course. made me proud! I had to escape at the end because everyone still wanted to play, but alas I had to somewhere, the Koenji street festival up the road!

The festival is held every year and is where the streets of koenji are full of random acts. Of course it's a massive excuse to get blind drunk on the street... Myself and friends were watching a random but awesome mime show, drinking away, when I saw a bunch of Mums and kids from my school. So I ended up chatting with them and playing with everyone. I love that the Mums are drinking themselves and don't mind that I'm a bit tipsy. I saw quite a few of my kids throughout the day, it just makes me so happy to see them.

Of course karaoke followed, which meant I was blind drunk by the time I got home at 11pm and Starfire started at midnight... I spent the first half of Starfire chundering and trying to sober up enough to dance, which I did and then had a bottle of champagne shoved down my neck... back to being drunk again. I love that me and Jasmine can dance at the front of the stage at Starfire now and not feel like pretenders... you know? At B-1 as well we're on the stage every week now, can't ask for more than that!

Well that'll do for now. Just a few of the things I've been up to recently, that I can remember anyway...

Next... interesting para shit.

Monday, 2 May 2011

Stomach in, chest out

Thanks for all the nice comments on the New Horizon video, be it on here, Facebook or where ever, I really appreciate it! I'm so happy with the way it turned out, and just so happy to have achieved a massive life ambition.

Yesterday was Magical Rave, that unusually fell on the Sunday the day after Starfire. You could tell, everyone seemed a bit tired and I've never seen so many outfit repeats XD I went solo and wasn't much up for socializing fun times, I was a bit tired and just wanted to dance. The awesome thing about the para scene at least in Tokyo, is that if you wanna just keep yourself to yourself and dance it's all good, no one will really disturb you.

Magical Rave is a really good mix of club songs. Always get tons of SEF, Starfire and random stuff, and of course it's the only place you can dance to Magical Rave techno and their awesome anime euro. I die happy every time they play K-on, which they did twice lol.

The lesson was Nagisa / Friends, which is a old song you might know.

Nagisa / Friends

Good routine!!

The little event known as Starfire happened as well on Saturday XD I was already really drunk by the time I had to get ready for it. A small matter of a festival in Koenji with friends and about 8 hours of solid drinking. So I spent the first few hours of Starfire trying my hardest to sober up, which I did by about 3am and then had champagne shoved down my neck and proceeded to get blind drunk again.

Happy days!!

The lessons are a bit of a blur... the techno was average, but the euro was awesome. Alas I left my camera at home, sorry! But you know those bad boys will be on youtube in the next few days. The lessons were followed by a tequila drinking competition that my friend Jasmine failed at worse than anyone in history, SHAME!!!! The winner, Yoshi, actually won nothing... after downing a half pint of tequila he won.... the tequila he downed. Haha gotta love the mayhem that is Starfire!!

This week is Golden Week so B-1 Dynamite is a super special that starts at 4pm! It's going to be the appocalypse!!! I can't wait! Chiba Rave is Friday, The Throb on Saturday, and Megahit on Sunday. Busy para weekend, but how many of those will I get to?? That all depends on adventures before the events and how much alcohol is involved.

We shall see!!

Sunday, 1 May 2011

A New Horizon

Well it's out! The new Starfire DVD myself, Jasmine and Heather are on.

I'm just about to go to Magical Rave, but I'll leave you with the full DVDRIP, and a couple of youtube uploads. I just have to say I am so proud to have done this video and would you believe I'm actually happy with the way it turned out.

Enjoy!! And hit me with any feedback on my dancing!

Starfire Vol 20 -


Magical Rave time!!

Thursday, 28 April 2011

A story of a charmless man

The para scene kicks back into action this week with a big. Starfire on Saturday, and Magical Rave on Sunday.


And of course that means THE Starfire DVD as well, I'm so nervous to see it...

There has been two B-1 Dynamite's since my last post, always the savior of my midweek in Tokyo. Which also means two lessons, or does it? Well no it doesn't because this week for some reason there were only a handfull of people at B-1 so they just didn't bother. It did mean the techno sets were almost everything I wanted though... I think maybe people are saving money for Golden Week holiday that starts in Japan tomorrow, most people go away for that. Personally I plan parks, mountains and lots of booze, with the main aim of rolling down a mountain blind drunk. Should be spicy!

But I digress... there was a lesson last week, a rather good techno lesson. It was 'My Load', a song and routine I didn't much care for until I heard it a million times at the Starfire filming. Yeah it's on the Starfire DVD.... who dances it is the more interesting thing. Just wait until Sunday when I upload it XD

Here's the lesson:

My Load

9loveJ vol 8 and 9 DVDRIPS....

Vol 08 -

Vol 09 -


Coming soon... a review of this weekends para bonanza, Starfire 20 rip, Magical Rave rips, and my unoficial highly subjective para dancers ranking for Tokyo.

Tuesday, 19 April 2011

Electric Love

Konichiwa from the land of Para and fish

There's been some para over the past few week here in Tokyo, not that much, and may Hanami had something to do with that.... YOU BASTARD!!! I so wanted to hit up Chiba Rave, The Throb, and Magical Rave, but Hanami had other plans. First Magical Rave I've missed in over a year. WOAH!!! But there has been a couple of B-1 Dynamites and SEF Deluxe. I don't really go to Disco 90s anymore because I find 2nd boom euro and old techno boring as fuck. Although saying that I am tempted to go tonight.

NO!! It's boring. Not that any para is on around Tokyo this weekend. I thought Starfire was this weekend but I got punked, it's next Saturday. Booooooo!!!! Need to see how shit I look on the DVD!!!!!!!! But B-1 Dynamite on Wednesday fuels my para needs for a few days at least.

So B-1 has had two lessons since I last posted any videos. Both are the lessons from Starfire. Do people want to see B-1 lessons if they are repeats?? I think it's worth it just to see Ke-tan dancing, she's so my favorite euro dancer now. Her style is so perfect.

B-1 Dynamite lessons -

Luna Matada / DJ Energy

Baby Come Back / Virginelle

SEF Deluxe was awesome as always. It's such an older crowd there these days but it's all good, love what they play, superb mix of Starfire and SEF techno, and that barman.... strong mother fucking cocktails, I'm talking pints of tequila with a splash of orange. What a cunt master!! Love him!

But I digress...

Lessons were pretty shit I thought and good old already uploaded them. But I'll upload mine anyway, multiple angles and all that...

SEF Deluxe April Lessons -

Passport to Dance / Eurodudes

Give Me Another Chance / Rave Force

Here are two videos I randomly took at SEF when everyone was pretty drunk, good times!

Finally here are DVD rips of Starfire Vol 17 and 18 -

Starfire Vol 17 -

Starfire Vol 18 -


Next rips, 9loveJ vol 8 and 9.

You can see me and Jasmine at the beginning of both DVDs....

Tuesday, 12 April 2011

Kanpai'd the shit out of the world!!

Well it's been one busy mother fucker of a week, and what took up most of it?


Hanami has become one week in the year I now dread but love oh so much. A week of getting into amazing drunken gonzo adventures whilst pretending to appreciate the beauty of the sakura trees, which are oh so beautiful.

The tradition in Japan is to have a picnic under the sakura trees, but this always turns into one massive party in the park. This year.... the past week I managed to go to four Hanami parties, two were planned, two really weren't... I'm gonna recall these adventures starting with the least brutal, that would be:


This started out with me meeting up with a friend from England, Sat, in Harujuku, with the plan to have a few quiet beers in Yoyogi Park. WRONG!! CHIGAU!!!! We'd sat on the grass for a few minutes before we'd been engulfed into a Hanami party, a Docomo work Hanami lol. These guys were top gonzo action and drinks and laughs were had.

Alas they left before we were really hitting our stride, but after a piss in the bushes I returned to find Sat with another group. After sometime the plan was to hit zn izakaya, but alas, two of the girls could barely walk, so that never happened. Instead me and Sat hooked up with a friend and hit a 100 yen izakaya.

Brutal Hanami rating = 3/10


Another Hanami that wasn't a Hanami. I headed to Yoyogi on Sunday with a blinding hangover from Hanami Saturday (hold on) to meet Jasmine, Ylva, Heather and a few others. A small weekend wind down was the plan, but do bring the 50% Mintu booze with you, and beers and chu-hi. I hit Yoyogi to find the biggest sea of people I'd ever seen in my life, so big the Softbank phone network was in meltdown, so it took me ages to find my group. But great spot by the lake!

Drinks were had, drinking games were had, bumped into a million people we know (small world), Heather and Amber found us, and then we really started cracking on. Especially when it started getting dark. We decided to go and join Heathers original group, while waiting for people to finish pissing and chundering we were delighted by sights such as a naked guy on a bike in the lake being attacked by bats.

Serious bat country!!

We finally made our way over to Heather to find her group had left but Heather and Amber had joined a gal circle hanami lol. One or two of them knew me and Heather from the para world lol. Drinking games, more drinking games, before me and Jasmine lost most people and decided to join an otaku hanami at abound 11pm.

So very drunken AKB48 dancing and para was had before we couldn't stand up anymore, Jasmine chundered on a tree and that was the signal to try and find our way home....

Brutal Hanami rating = 8.5/10


Godamn they just keep coming!!

This was a planned one... but one I thought would be a fun warmup to Saturday night. How wrong I was!! It was my mate Naoyuki's Hanami, and boy do the Japanese knpow how to plan!! He got like THE perfect spot under the tree's, even had to spend the night there to protect it. What a legend!

By the time I arrived there were at least 30 people there, maybe 50. Big Hanami times!! I knew a handful of people there but everyone was awesome and up for a laugh. Needless to say the booze was flowing. Found booze from the previous week was flowing. Herpes, a legend of a guy who's comedy knows no bounds... or pants, it wasn't long before he had cock out doing his comedy routine. We ended up having a bit of a comedy face off... Booze booze booze....

I was kinda setup with a girl there by this legend of a guy, I forget his name. For some strange reason she liked my drunken comedy antics and we're going out later this week. Hurrah!! Infact Hanami turned me into quiet the ladies man lol. Well for some reason I had many Japanese girls hitting on me. I guess Hanami does turn up my comedy factor by at least 10.

Park done with everyone got in taxis and headed to an izakaya in Shibuya for a big party. That was pretty brutal I have to say, pitchers were being downed at an incredible rate! I sat down at a random table and the girl next to me was like 'MAKKUSU!!' It was Kanako from the para scene who I haven't seen for a long time.


Izakaya done with one of the guys I'd met who's name I forget... he invited to carry on at a bar with his mates, and who was I to say no??!! A few chunders down Shibuya Center Gai later we joined his mates. They were boring as shit so I lost them and ended up at a table with two girls drinking spiritus (96% death juice). The next thing I remember I woke up in Ikebukuro with next to know vision and no clue what was going on. FUCK IT!! I am no way attempting to walk home, I could barely walk at all. So with trains finished I did the thing sober Max hates the next day, and that's take the beast of a taxi home.

I woke up the next day with a top 10 hangover, so many sent messages on my phone, and McDonalds wrappers in my bed.

Brutal Hanami rating = 9/10

On to the last Hanami you'll be happy to hear, and that is:


This was the Hanami that myself and Jasmine planned as our house Hanami. It was actually the first of the four I went to, and one I learnt from my mistakes at....

We headed out to meet people in Harujuku at midday armed with mountains of booze and a packet of crisps. Food is not needed!!! A few early people gathered we hit Yoyogi to set up camps and kanpai the shit out of the world. Drinking games started, more people arrived, more boozing, then Satomi arrived and the spiritus was introduced. Two minutes later...

Well I have to say after this I have like zero memory of anything. I was told I joined a baseball game. I do kinda remember swimming in a lake of leaves trying to find my glasses.


I awake... it's pitch black and almost midnight, the park is deserted. WAIT!! I have no glasses...


WAIT!!!! I have no shoes...


It goes without saying I am drunk as a fucking fuck that has fucked the shit out of a fuck. I have zero vision, bad times when a lake is infront of me. Wait... why are my clothes wet... who can say...

I have two options for the way to the station, it's a 50% blind as a bat chance. I pick the wrong one.... but end up flowing a yellow brick road (seriously) that leads to the promised land of the train station. Where the fuck are my shoes??????

I wake up the next day having sent many offensive phone messages to people with half the park on my clothes. I have to laugh I messaged my mate Ryohei saying 'you pussy motherfucker!!' Haha!!


Brutal Hanami Rating = 10/10 TEN OUT OF A MOTHER FUCKING TEN!


Top Hanami gonzing there, I'm pretty sure I saw maybe one sakura tree. Who can say? After the Thunderdome Hanami I always tied my glasses to my head. SMART!! And asked someone to take care of my shoes for me. All in all it's going to take a lot of beating next year.