Kanpai'd the shit out of the world!!

Well it's been one busy mother fucker of a week, and what took up most of it?

HANAMI!!!!!!

Hanami has become one week in the year I now dread but love oh so much. A week of getting into amazing drunken gonzo adventures whilst pretending to appreciate the beauty of the sakura trees, which are oh so beautiful.

The tradition in Japan is to have a picnic under the sakura trees, but this always turns into one massive party in the park. This year.... the past week I managed to go to four Hanami parties, two were planned, two really weren't... I'm gonna recall these adventures starting with the least brutal, that would be:

HANAMI THURSDAY!

This started out with me meeting up with a friend from England, Sat, in Harujuku, with the plan to have a few quiet beers in Yoyogi Park. WRONG!! CHIGAU!!!! We'd sat on the grass for a few minutes before we'd been engulfed into a Hanami party, a Docomo work Hanami lol. These guys were top gonzo action and drinks and laughs were had.

Alas they left before we were really hitting our stride, but after a piss in the bushes I returned to find Sat with another group. After sometime the plan was to hit zn izakaya, but alas, two of the girls could barely walk, so that never happened. Instead me and Sat hooked up with a friend and hit a 100 yen izakaya.

Brutal Hanami rating = 3/10

HANAMI SUNDAY!

Another Hanami that wasn't a Hanami. I headed to Yoyogi on Sunday with a blinding hangover from Hanami Saturday (hold on) to meet Jasmine, Ylva, Heather and a few others. A small weekend wind down was the plan, but do bring the 50% Mintu booze with you, and beers and chu-hi. I hit Yoyogi to find the biggest sea of people I'd ever seen in my life, so big the Softbank phone network was in meltdown, so it took me ages to find my group. But great spot by the lake!

Drinks were had, drinking games were had, bumped into a million people we know (small world), Heather and Amber found us, and then we really started cracking on. Especially when it started getting dark. We decided to go and join Heathers original group, while waiting for people to finish pissing and chundering we were delighted by sights such as a naked guy on a bike in the lake being attacked by bats.

Serious bat country!!

We finally made our way over to Heather to find her group had left but Heather and Amber had joined a gal circle hanami lol. One or two of them knew me and Heather from the para world lol. Drinking games, more drinking games, before me and Jasmine lost most people and decided to join an otaku hanami at abound 11pm.

So very drunken AKB48 dancing and para was had before we couldn't stand up anymore, Jasmine chundered on a tree and that was the signal to try and find our way home....

Brutal Hanami rating = 8.5/10

HANAMI SATURDAY!!!

Godamn they just keep coming!!

This was a planned one... but one I thought would be a fun warmup to Saturday night. How wrong I was!! It was my mate Naoyuki's Hanami, and boy do the Japanese knpow how to plan!! He got like THE perfect spot under the tree's, even had to spend the night there to protect it. What a legend!

By the time I arrived there were at least 30 people there, maybe 50. Big Hanami times!! I knew a handful of people there but everyone was awesome and up for a laugh. Needless to say the booze was flowing. Found booze from the previous week was flowing. Herpes, a legend of a guy who's comedy knows no bounds... or pants, it wasn't long before he had cock out doing his comedy routine. We ended up having a bit of a comedy face off... Booze booze booze....

I was kinda setup with a girl there by this legend of a guy, I forget his name. For some strange reason she liked my drunken comedy antics and we're going out later this week. Hurrah!! Infact Hanami turned me into quiet the ladies man lol. Well for some reason I had many Japanese girls hitting on me. I guess Hanami does turn up my comedy factor by at least 10.

Park done with everyone got in taxis and headed to an izakaya in Shibuya for a big party. That was pretty brutal I have to say, pitchers were being downed at an incredible rate! I sat down at a random table and the girl next to me was like 'MAKKUSU!!' It was Kanako from the para scene who I haven't seen for a long time.

MESSY!!!

Izakaya done with one of the guys I'd met who's name I forget... he invited to carry on at a bar with his mates, and who was I to say no??!! A few chunders down Shibuya Center Gai later we joined his mates. They were boring as shit so I lost them and ended up at a table with two girls drinking spiritus (96% death juice). The next thing I remember I woke up in Ikebukuro with next to know vision and no clue what was going on. FUCK IT!! I am no way attempting to walk home, I could barely walk at all. So with trains finished I did the thing sober Max hates the next day, and that's take the beast of a taxi home.

I woke up the next day with a top 10 hangover, so many sent messages on my phone, and McDonalds wrappers in my bed.

Brutal Hanami rating = 9/10

On to the last Hanami you'll be happy to hear, and that is:

SUNDAY HANAMI AKA THUNDERDOME HANAMI!!!!

This was the Hanami that myself and Jasmine planned as our house Hanami. It was actually the first of the four I went to, and one I learnt from my mistakes at....

We headed out to meet people in Harujuku at midday armed with mountains of booze and a packet of crisps. Food is not needed!!! A few early people gathered we hit Yoyogi to set up camps and kanpai the shit out of the world. Drinking games started, more people arrived, more boozing, then Satomi arrived and the spiritus was introduced. Two minutes later...

Well I have to say after this I have like zero memory of anything. I was told I joined a baseball game. I do kinda remember swimming in a lake of leaves trying to find my glasses.

TOTAL BLACKOUT!!!!

I awake... it's pitch black and almost midnight, the park is deserted. WAIT!! I have no glasses...

SHIT!!!!

WAIT!!!! I have no shoes...

TRIPLE FUCKING SHIT!!!

It goes without saying I am drunk as a fucking fuck that has fucked the shit out of a fuck. I have zero vision, bad times when a lake is infront of me. Wait... why are my clothes wet... who can say...

I have two options for the way to the station, it's a 50% blind as a bat chance. I pick the wrong one.... but end up flowing a yellow brick road (seriously) that leads to the promised land of the train station. Where the fuck are my shoes??????

I wake up the next day having sent many offensive phone messages to people with half the park on my clothes. I have to laugh I messaged my mate Ryohei saying 'you pussy motherfucker!!' Haha!!

So....

Brutal Hanami Rating = 10/10 TEN OUT OF A MOTHER FUCKING TEN!


..............

Top Hanami gonzing there, I'm pretty sure I saw maybe one sakura tree. Who can say? After the Thunderdome Hanami I always tied my glasses to my head. SMART!! And asked someone to take care of my shoes for me. All in all it's going to take a lot of beating next year.

HANAMIIIII!!!!!!!!!