Monday, 19 December 2011

The Tale of Bobby and His Fight With Japanese Immigration.

Ok let me just state this story is about a friend.... of course. It would be silly of me to write illegal things about myself, what if people like Japanese immigration were to read this. So yes, this is a story about a friend and is probably complete fiction.

What will he do to dance parapara in Tokyo? Anything he can, and sometimes even that's not enough. Bobby (my friend) has been banned from a lot of things in my life but never a whole country? Yeah it's a first even for him.

If you've been following his life adventures you'll know he was meanly kicked out of Tokyo at the beginning of November when his tourist visa ran out and he is waiting to get the green light on his full work visa application. Even though his visa is due anytime now he thought there had been a long enough gap inbetween his last visit to tokyo to just fly out on a tourist visa and enjoy Christmas and New Years there.

Now just to make sure immigration wouldn't give him a hard time about being in Tokyo so much, he applied for a new passport before he left. Somehow he managed to lose his current passport with all those stamps showing he'd been in tokyo for nearly 18 months. What a coincedence. So passport sorted, flight booked, all was set.

The journey to Heathrow started badly, a sign to Bobby that all was not right with the stars. After picking up his passport in Peterborough he boarded the train to London. No gates at the station and a full standing only train means only one thing, free train ride. Unbelievably for Bobby, a Geordie cunt of a ticket master showed up on the train and started doling out his Cameron justice. That'll be £47 quid he said to Bobby. I think not, Bobby said. I think it will be or I'll call the police. Go on then, Bobby said, I'm not paying £47 to stand by a fucking toilet that doesn't even work. And so a cunt off commenced. Alas with Bobby flying out in the morning the last thing he needed was a stand off with the fuck masters at the other end. What with previous court appearances for similar offences... So Bobby stood down and paid the massive cunt price to the massive power mad cunt. A rare defeat in the battle against cunt kind for our hero Bobby.

Onwards to Heathrow airport Bobby, be free and live that dream for all of us!!

Heathrow airport 5am, stage one of the 3 stage immigration rumble plan. Stage one was a matter of checking in on a one way ticket to Tokyo. Not illegal but not exactly allowed by a lot of airlines, must have an onward ticket and all that.


The automatic check in machines show nothing but error signals to Bobby. So on to the desk he goes to be greated by a smiling woman who is all to happy to check in his bags and give him that all important ticket.


With stage one complete it looked like plane sailing was ahead, and indeed it was until he landed in Milan. Because of a chnage of airport in Milan Bobby had to collect his luggage and check in at the other airport across town.


This time the automatic check in robot worked and spat out the final leg ticket, that golden ticket ticket to Tokyo. But of course there was trouble at the desk. Did he have an onward ticket from Japan? Why of course he did.... maybe. Ok maybe not after they checked. Thus began a meeting with the management. After far to long they decided to print out a fake ticket to hong Kong for January 3rd. Fantastic Bobby thought, blank passport, onward ticket, why wouldn't they let me into Japan.

Finally after the grueling 18+ hour journey from London Bobby arrived in Tokyo. The weather was beautiful, he could see Fuji-san all the way from Chiba. It was looking like one perfect day. Just that final most important stage to pass now. Tokyo immigration....

Passport handed over, looking good, finger print and face scan, still looking good...

Can you go with this lady please Mr Bobby?....

Fuck stains, this is not good.

Bobby was taken into a questioning room where he filled out many forms and answered a thousand questions. Of course Bobby had done nothing illegal, it all came down to him having been in Tokyo for 8 months in the last year and so he did not meet with the tourist definition. He told them all about his passion for Japanese dancing, the reason he goes so frequently to Tokyo, but you know what they said to him?

'I think you've danced enough!'

After torturing Bobby for 4 hours.... In which time they tried to find out about friends of his in Japan and of course tried to find out if he had been working in Tokyo. Of he hadn't, not to my knowledge anyway. Strangely even with all their paperwork on Bobby they didn't he was in the process of applying for a working visa. That could've spelled danger for Bobby and his work sponsor.

So four hours of nonsense and they finally told him he had to fly back to England on the next available flight. This of course meant Bobby had to pay the massive on the day flight cost.

And so our hero was defeated, a rare defeat it was, but not one that will stay long with good old Bobby. Yes Christmas and New Years is ruined, yes he dreams of continuing his life in Japan, yes money gone, but money comes and goes, not a big concern.

What are Bobby's future plans? Well he plans to wait for his work visa to get green lighted, any time now, and fly back asap. Hopefully he can have everything sorted before January 10th, that's when his sponsor would like him to start work. A matter of waiting, forever waiting. Of course I hear Bobby has a plan B, C and maybe a plan D, but he wouldn't tell me those.

Wow horrible story huh? If that happened to me I'd be pretty devastated. But we now Bobby will not be defeated, he'll get back there to dance and see those kids he loves so much before you know it.

Funnily enough I'm also applying for a work visa in Japan that is due anytime now, maybe I'll have a drink with Bobby in Tokyo sometime. I'll show him around Koenji.

Saturday, 3 December 2011


So here I am back in England, back in the house I grew up in. You'd be forgiven for thinking life has taken a massive turn for the worse, but you'd be wrong. A small setback yes, but nothing more than an inconvenience.

I've been back here for almost one month now, and to be honest it's not all that bad. Of course it's a great thing to see friends and family, and to have a break from work and life. But that's just it, a break from life. I don't need a break. Life back in England is so comfortable, no language barrier, nothing to adjust to, just no effort needed. It'd be oh so easy to get a nice career in teaching and take the comfortable road.

Sofas, pint of Stella mate, town please, how much??

But one thought of those kids and the life I've built in Tokyo and I quickly remember where I should be, who I am. Comfortable was never part of the life plan. Life plan?? There was no life plan, but if there was, comfortable would never be included.

So now I just wait for the word from that ellusive lawyer of mine. Word from immigration that I can continue living my life. Just a sticker in a passport, how difficult can it be, just do it before I sit down for too long and get too comfortable.