Monday, 7 May 2012

The Only Downer In An Otherwise Great Life

I've been feeling down about my constant lack of a girlfriend, more than ever recently. Probably because I've been quizzed about it a lot and many people can see straight through me. No I've never had a girlfriend in Japan. No I've never had a girlfriend anywhere anytime. I've never so much as kissed a girl or come close. Then the next inevitable question that follows, is there something wrong with me? I don't think so, maybe. I've just always been clueless when it comes to girls. But even the most clueless guys have some luck by the time they hit my age, 32 next month. What would you do if you were in my position? I'd love to get married and have kids, but that's not exactly a reality. It's getting mega depressing when people ask me about it, or likewise when people don't ask because they don't think of me in the same way as nearly everyone else on the planet. What's a boy to do, I really am clueless when it comes to girls.

Friday, 4 May 2012


So it finally happened, I returned home to Tokyo after a six month exile in England. But six months is a small price to pay to secure your future, and that's what I've done, I've got the job I want in the bag and all my money problems are far behind me. Money is such a bag of shit, you just want enough so you can do what you want and not worry, which I can and also save a good chunk for the future. Thumbs up! My flight back was uneventful until I came to immigration at Haneda. My name was obviously red flagged on the system, and even though I had a valid work visa I was still asked to wait in a small room, where I waited for 20 agonizing minutes before being told all is good. To say I was happy to out in airport arrivals is an understatement! And here I am back at home, and it's like I've never been away. The day I came back I went out for a quiet beer with a few friends, but it ended up being a big group and a dirty allnighter. Right back on the horse. I love my life in Koenji so much and feel pretty damn lucky to have this awesome group of drunk dickhead mates around me.   Going back to work has been amazing, first meeting the new years kids who are awesome, and then the kids who I'd left started the new year. I'm so happy that they were as happy to see me as I was to see them. It's been like half of my soul was missing when I was away, they mean the world to me, more than the world, I couldn't live without them. So yeah, nice to be back. There's been para, adventures, road trips, romance.... Ok no romance. But basically everything is just as I left it but even better, and I will never ever take it for granted! I filmed the next Starfire DVD which will be out at the next Starfire. I was really happy with this one, for the first time I danced like I do normally and wasn't a bit nervous, think I've got the hang of this filming thing now, call me a pro ;) I feel like a para celeb in the clubs since I've come back. Comments like 'where were you on the last DVD I was looking forward to seeing you'. And 'your my Parapara idol', from random people I've never met. What a joke. But yeah, I'm awesome. Loads of adventures I could write about but I'll start after the weekend which will be filled with balls out onsen's and matsuri's.

Sunday, 25 March 2012

The Dance Nears It's End

Well I'm still here in sunny old England, being as patient as anyone has ever been, waiting for that golden ticket to go back home Tokyo.

It's been a nightmare five months since I left Tokyo and my lawyer submitted the second work visa application. After many many twists and turns, including of course a failed trip back, it looks like next week my lawyer will receive the final decision through the post. I can't say if I'm confident or not. On one hand we have done everything they asked and been assured they shouldn't be any problems, but on the other hand I'm just not that damn lucky.

To say it would be like a dream to return would be an understatement. The fact that I'm falling deeper into debt here in England, and life is going further and further downhill means the work visa would fix everything instantly. I'd go from struggling to eat and owing money, to having my fantastic job back with not a worry in the world. Not to mention the other aspects of life would return, like having a social life. I don't really don't do anything or see anyone here in Leicester. I'm pretty much a hermit who ventures out only to the park to read. But I don't care about that, my life isn't here.

So what happens if I get the big bad no from immigration? Well hopefully my work will still stick with me, obviously I have a plan B to Z, but it'd mean more waiting and more money I don't have. To think how much I've spent on visa runs and lawyer fees, I'm wiped out about now. So if I get the no, well I'd have a month until I could enter japan as a tourist with no issues from immigration, which would mean a minimum of three months and a maximum of six. This would at least allow me to get back on my feet financially, and to go with visa plan B which wouldn't take very long and I doubt I'd have a problem doing.

If all that failed? I'd have to return to England, get a job and a life and forget Japan, at least for two years. I'd pay off my student debts, which stand at £1600, at least those that would stop me getting further student finance, and then I'd plug away for two years in London and finish my degree. But of course I pray it doesn't come to that.

So it all comes to a head this week, as always I  shall pray it all comes good.

Monday, 30 January 2012


This could well be the week I've been waiting what seems like forever for. This is the week I'm due to get a decision on my visa from Japanese immigration. I'm pretty confident in it being a positive outcome. Myself, my lawyer and my school have made sure we hit all the points immigration are looking for, really they have no actual reason to turn me down, only the 'just because' reason. Damn that would be harsh. But yeah, it looks good, they asked my school for one last bit of information two weeks ago after nearly three months of processing. Got to be a good sign. So fingers, toes, and bollocks crossed they do the right thing, and then it's just a matter of the certificate of eligibility being sent to England followed by a short trip to London to get the visa in my passport. The second that's done I am out of here!

It feels like forever since I was getting on with my life in japan. I had no plans to be away for three months I can tell you that. The hardest thing has been not getting to comfortable here, the reason why I haven't got a job or made much of any effort to see friends here. I know that's a bit stupid, but I wanted to keep my eyes on the prize. My place is not here, I have remind myself sometimes. Of course when I've been at the football recently and shopping at those familiar local shops it sometimes does feel all too comfortable. But the second I hear from immigration I'll forget that feeling and 'real' life will come flooding back into that scrap of meat I call a brain.

After the whole Narita disaster I  fell into really deep depression until just after new years, it wasn't until January 4th (yeah I know the exact date) that I dusted myself off and thought "well if I've got another month minimum to wait I might as well do something productive". So I decided to do two things, firstly get serious about my disgusting fat body, and secondly work really hard on my Japanese because it was a bit of a joke. To be fair it was ok, but most people I know in japan are somewhat fluent through school everyday, or they are making the effort to get there. If there's one big change in my thinking this year, it's to think if that person can do it, so can I. No excuses. This is a year to stop being a pussy and take what I want! I actually started thinking like that after watching the film 'Limitless'. You know where he takes the pill and his brain starts functioning at full capacity, and he thinks 'how did I live like that'? Well I'm not saying that inspired me in anyway, but that's how I'm thinking now. If some people can have a body like that, why can't I? If people I know cab be fluent in a language through hard work, what's stopping me? Nothing that's what!

So my goals are, and I will not fail:

Body like Ryan Gosling and Rafael Nadal
Be on the road to fluency in Japanese by the time I return. This means finishing book 2 of Japanese For Busy People, and have the top 1000 most frequently used words locked down.

No excuses, no problem!

Sunday, 29 January 2012

Sexy Body Here I Come!!

So being fat huh? What's that all about? I can honestly say I have beaten the bulge and changed to a completely healthy lifestyle. All those times I tried briefly to eat right or do fad diets, what was I thinking?? I know what I was thinking, I wanted a quick easy way to get slim and I wasn't at all dedicated  or realistic.

What's changed then?

The simple fact that I know what I'm doing now, and when you do it all properly it works. You lose weight, fat, and put on muscle, all at a very steady pace, and you know what? It's actually really easy and fun. At least I think it is.

It all comes down to such an easy set of rules.

1: Eating a calorie deficit of what your body needs for daily maintenance.

2: Nutrition nutrition and nutrition. Not being lazy and eating processed crap. Eggs, meat, fish, fruit, veg, it's not hard to do, and you know what? It actually tastes better.

3: Exercise done in a correct and structured way. For me that's cardio Monday-Friday for 40 minutes, and full body weight training 3 times a week.

Doing these three things combined I've become a fat burning monster. It's taken a lot of dedication, but it's not that difficult once you get into the swing of it. The thing I'm finding the most difficult is trying not to work myself to much. Resting is just as important as training.

My end goal? I want a body like Ryan Gosling. Unattainable? I don't think so. I think anyone can do it doing the right things.

My current stats:

Started the new life style on January 4th.

Today: January 29th

Now: 87.4kg Was: 92.1kg
Waist: 38" Was: 41"

My ulitmate ideal weight is somewhere around 80kg, but I know that will take care of itself as my upper body gets more toned and that fat continues to blast off.

Yeah, so basically I've cracked that little part of life. Just gotta keep doing what I'm doing and be patient.

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

No diet, just doing the right thing!

So I've been blasting my body into shape the past 3 weeks or so and it's going really well, so I thought I'd write about what I've been doing.

Let me say, I've always been bothered about my weight since I hit my twenties. Never really fat or big, but always a bit of a belly and man boobs. Good I hate man boobs. After the Tokyo ordeal around a month ago I was so depressed I just started stuffing my face with chocolate and god knows what. A couple of days later I looked at myself in the mirror and I looked like a disgusting fat pig, and with nothing but free time on my hands it was time to do something about it, no excuses, let's fire this body into the best shape its ever been in and surprise everyone once I'm back in Japan.

So for the first two weeks or so I did what I've done a million times before, the thing that never works in the long term, I went on a diet. TO be fair I was really good, I cut what I eat right down, because when I don't care I eat enough for five people. Along with that I started dancing again after being to depressed to do it for a long time. But this is all small beans and probably wouldn't last.

My big weight loss break came when I downloaded My Fitness Pal app on my iPod. It's basically a calorie counter where you long all your meals and excersise everyday. But the best thing about the app is that it gives you a personal daily calorie target and also deducts the calories you burn from whatever excersise you do. Couldnt be easier, it's almost like a game. if I want to eat more, excersise more. If I really want to get ahead, excersise and eat well.

So my regime now is:

Fruit for breakfast.
Omelette, scrambled egg, jacket potato or a healthy sandwich for lunch.
Fruit as a snack.
Sensible dinner.
Water, nothing but water.
60 minutes of dancing of 30 minutes jog everyday, no excuses.
100 sit-ups
25 push-ups
20 bicep curls on each arm

My eating rules are simply stay away from processed crap, zero snacking, as little alcohol as possible, and no Coke, water Only.


It really feels like I'm on the road to a blasted body at long last. How's my weight doing? Well I stated at 92.1kg and as of today I'm 89.5kg and falling fast. My ultimate goal is around the 70kg mark and to look hot... To be honest.

Im weighing myself on Tuesdays and Saturdays, I'll keep you all up to date, or friend me on My Fitness Pal. My user name is BigMakkusu.

Monday, 19 December 2011

The Tale of Bobby and His Fight With Japanese Immigration.

Ok let me just state this story is about a friend.... of course. It would be silly of me to write illegal things about myself, what if people like Japanese immigration were to read this. So yes, this is a story about a friend and is probably complete fiction.

What will he do to dance parapara in Tokyo? Anything he can, and sometimes even that's not enough. Bobby (my friend) has been banned from a lot of things in my life but never a whole country? Yeah it's a first even for him.

If you've been following his life adventures you'll know he was meanly kicked out of Tokyo at the beginning of November when his tourist visa ran out and he is waiting to get the green light on his full work visa application. Even though his visa is due anytime now he thought there had been a long enough gap inbetween his last visit to tokyo to just fly out on a tourist visa and enjoy Christmas and New Years there.

Now just to make sure immigration wouldn't give him a hard time about being in Tokyo so much, he applied for a new passport before he left. Somehow he managed to lose his current passport with all those stamps showing he'd been in tokyo for nearly 18 months. What a coincedence. So passport sorted, flight booked, all was set.

The journey to Heathrow started badly, a sign to Bobby that all was not right with the stars. After picking up his passport in Peterborough he boarded the train to London. No gates at the station and a full standing only train means only one thing, free train ride. Unbelievably for Bobby, a Geordie cunt of a ticket master showed up on the train and started doling out his Cameron justice. That'll be £47 quid he said to Bobby. I think not, Bobby said. I think it will be or I'll call the police. Go on then, Bobby said, I'm not paying £47 to stand by a fucking toilet that doesn't even work. And so a cunt off commenced. Alas with Bobby flying out in the morning the last thing he needed was a stand off with the fuck masters at the other end. What with previous court appearances for similar offences... So Bobby stood down and paid the massive cunt price to the massive power mad cunt. A rare defeat in the battle against cunt kind for our hero Bobby.

Onwards to Heathrow airport Bobby, be free and live that dream for all of us!!

Heathrow airport 5am, stage one of the 3 stage immigration rumble plan. Stage one was a matter of checking in on a one way ticket to Tokyo. Not illegal but not exactly allowed by a lot of airlines, must have an onward ticket and all that.


The automatic check in machines show nothing but error signals to Bobby. So on to the desk he goes to be greated by a smiling woman who is all to happy to check in his bags and give him that all important ticket.


With stage one complete it looked like plane sailing was ahead, and indeed it was until he landed in Milan. Because of a chnage of airport in Milan Bobby had to collect his luggage and check in at the other airport across town.


This time the automatic check in robot worked and spat out the final leg ticket, that golden ticket ticket to Tokyo. But of course there was trouble at the desk. Did he have an onward ticket from Japan? Why of course he did.... maybe. Ok maybe not after they checked. Thus began a meeting with the management. After far to long they decided to print out a fake ticket to hong Kong for January 3rd. Fantastic Bobby thought, blank passport, onward ticket, why wouldn't they let me into Japan.

Finally after the grueling 18+ hour journey from London Bobby arrived in Tokyo. The weather was beautiful, he could see Fuji-san all the way from Chiba. It was looking like one perfect day. Just that final most important stage to pass now. Tokyo immigration....

Passport handed over, looking good, finger print and face scan, still looking good...

Can you go with this lady please Mr Bobby?....

Fuck stains, this is not good.

Bobby was taken into a questioning room where he filled out many forms and answered a thousand questions. Of course Bobby had done nothing illegal, it all came down to him having been in Tokyo for 8 months in the last year and so he did not meet with the tourist definition. He told them all about his passion for Japanese dancing, the reason he goes so frequently to Tokyo, but you know what they said to him?

'I think you've danced enough!'

After torturing Bobby for 4 hours.... In which time they tried to find out about friends of his in Japan and of course tried to find out if he had been working in Tokyo. Of he hadn't, not to my knowledge anyway. Strangely even with all their paperwork on Bobby they didn't he was in the process of applying for a working visa. That could've spelled danger for Bobby and his work sponsor.

So four hours of nonsense and they finally told him he had to fly back to England on the next available flight. This of course meant Bobby had to pay the massive on the day flight cost.

And so our hero was defeated, a rare defeat it was, but not one that will stay long with good old Bobby. Yes Christmas and New Years is ruined, yes he dreams of continuing his life in Japan, yes money gone, but money comes and goes, not a big concern.

What are Bobby's future plans? Well he plans to wait for his work visa to get green lighted, any time now, and fly back asap. Hopefully he can have everything sorted before January 10th, that's when his sponsor would like him to start work. A matter of waiting, forever waiting. Of course I hear Bobby has a plan B, C and maybe a plan D, but he wouldn't tell me those.

Wow horrible story huh? If that happened to me I'd be pretty devastated. But we now Bobby will not be defeated, he'll get back there to dance and see those kids he loves so much before you know it.

Funnily enough I'm also applying for a work visa in Japan that is due anytime now, maybe I'll have a drink with Bobby in Tokyo sometime. I'll show him around Koenji.