Thursday, 23 December 2010

Bonenkai, you mother fucker!!!!

Well today is a complete write off... thanks to my third (and most definetly last) bonenkai of the week.

Yesterday was the Starfire bonenkai party, which was always going to get messy. When Bancho and Fujimoto are around it always does. I think the 4 hours original plan went a bit out the window seeing as we started at 8:30 and got home around 3 or 4am. Those swines they really know how to destroy me, or actually my liver. We hit two jubs in Shinjuku, the scene of my Saturday adventure... the first jub, Kachikachiyama, was somewhat civilized, but by the time we stumbled to the second evil jub we were all in bits.

It goes without saying I browned out, very little memory of what went down there or even leaving there. Come to think of it did I take my jacket and scarf?? Shitttttt!!!! Ah well. But today me and the girls were meant to go to an outdoor anime rave in Shinjuku that started at 12pm, well the girls made it, but alas my body is still in pieces and it's 6:30pm now. And I still need to get presents for four people.... damnnnnnn. Well still got over an hour until the shops close.

You see Christmas starts tomorrow for us here in the Thunderdome. Jasmine being Swedish means we get to celebrate Swedish Christmas day which is on the 24th.... weirdly. And then of course English Christmas day is on the 25th. I need to make paper hats, no crackers over here. Starfire tops off Christmas day and then after a hangover day it's off to England for new years. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to going back to England, who would have thought? But once I'm there I know I'll be craving my real home that is Tokyo. And three weeks without my kids, ohhhh how I'll miss them.

Oh by the way (this post is all over the place isn't it...). One of my favorite girls at school, Ann-chan, it was her last ever day at the kindergarten on Monday. Her parents are moving to England, so she'll be going to school there. Her Mum took some photos of me and Ann-chan which she printed out for me, and she wrote me a letter. I really had to hold back the tears. So sad to know I'll never see them again. What am I going to be like when the oldest kids leave in April. Ahhhhh mannnnnnn!!!!

Anyway I better get those presents sorted and wrapped. Toodles.

Tuesday, 21 December 2010

Fear and bloody bonenkai loathing!!

My life gets more and more fear and loathing with each passing year, and Saturdays Bonenkai has to go down at the top of my list of most stupidly awesome adventures ever. Bonenkai is a tradition in Japan where people get together and drink away their sins from the year. An awesome tradition I'm sure you'll agree, but a tradition that was always going to get messy if you know what I'm like....

The story goes a little something like this....

Just your average pre Christmas Saturday night with my fellow Tokyo drinking buddies. We're in the heart of Shinjuku so jub alley it is, also known as memory lane. Ok, let's get one thing straight about drinking in Japan, if you're going to do it right you have to hit a jub (Japanese pub) with crates. That is, if you aren't sitting on a pile of crates in someones converted living room, well you are worthless as a person and I will not associate with your kind. Memory lane is one of the few crate jub areas in Shinjuku, of course if you head to places like Nakano and Koenji the jubs and crates are everywhere. But I digress. It was pretty ram a damma ding dong as far as the booze eye could see, but after awhile we got pulled into this most useless of jubs. Over priced, shit drinks, a chunder bucket by my feet. This is no way to kick of a bonenkai!!! So we move on.

To a 100yen jubber!! The promised land! This is how a bonenkai should be started, and started it was! Drinks flowed, laughs were had, but alas little Jasmine had a club night/concert to go to at midnight. Being rather tipsy myself and my fellow boozers decided to join her. So to Loft we headed for some hardcore noise dj rubbish. Of course myself and my drinking partner in crime who I shall refere to as 'Dickhead', we stuffed whsky down our pants and were ready to rock and roll. It was all average fun and dancing until we were hit by a sentence so deadly I hardly dare repeat it.....


Well, those swines were just determined to kill us weren't they, and at 100 yen a pop it was just a matter of 'keep them coming'. Vague foggy memories of a spiritus bottle as well entering the arena, but of this I can not be sure. It goes without saying it was at this point it all went badly wrong. I lost everyone else at what must have been around 4am, quite a feat being a small venue. Suddenly the urge to leave came like a wave crashing sown upon my bruised brain. Foggy visions of me crashing out the doors and up the stairs, emerging with no idea where I was. Woe is me!!!

Now.... I was planning to book my flight home to England for new years that same day, and because of that I had a cool 130,000 yen in my wallet. Around 1000 pounds in real cash. The next part I cannot and will not write about, it's gonzo and fear and loathing but.... this is far to public a place to divulge such tales. So I must appologise and sensor myself, a pussy I am. If you really want to know what happened contact me via Facebook or someother form of internet magic.

BASICALLY..... In my drunken bonenkai tornedo state.... I was robbed. I lost everything. No return for new years, not even my train fair home. It has to go down as a top 3 lifetime train wreck.

The moral of the story? There is no moral, or at least run when you hear the magic sentence 'jager 100yen a shot'.... But  managed to wizard up the money again the next day so it was only a minor inconvenience.


Thursday, 16 December 2010

Hearto Catchy YES YES!!

Christmas in Japan, it just aint Christmas is it.

It looks like I'll be heading to good old England for new years, hurrah! Should be leaving on the 27th, which means I get to spend Christmas here with my Japanese family, as in the ever wonderful Jazz and Gabs. We get to celebrate Christmas on the 24th and 25th seeing how Swedish Christmas is the 24th and English Christmas is.... normal and on the 25th. Should be a good one topped off with Starfire para night on the 25th at midnight. Perfect Christmas times! Our wonderful friend/lodger, Diana, is coming over from Sweden as well. Excellent! I am really looking forward to being back in the UK, even though I know I'll be bored of it and longing for Japan within a day of being there.

I got a 10% pay rise at work, BOOM!! Almost a year working there now, can't believe it. One of my favorite girls, Ann-chan is leaving on Monday for good, sad times. Her parents are moving to London and she'll be going to school there. I've been helping her Mum with her English lol. We had our Christmas show this week. All the classes put on a performance ranging from dance to plays. Some of them were so so like a scene from Mean Girls. Jingle Bell Rock baby....

First thing I do when I'm in England? Cadburys, pasties and cheese! I am bringing a LOT of chocolate back here with me.

Anyway before Christmas there's lot's of drinking and chundering to be had in the name of bonenkai. A yearly tradition here where you end the year drinking your sins away with friends, and who am I to argue! Only two more days of school and then I'm off till the 11th. Good because I could do with a rest, but bad because, well, who will I play tag and pretty cure with in the mean time???

Thursday, 9 December 2010

Samurai blue

Merry run up to Christmas from Tokyo yo.

School..... my job. It's what I live for now. I'd give up everything else in life for those damn kids.... So yeah, in the past month it's been pretty fun times at school, lot's of festivals and little events, the main one being the school bazaar. That was fun fun fun. Basically the school and outside turned into one big market with each room having a theme, like Christmas, hand made goods. As well as food and games outside. I picked lot's of sentimental treasures and a mini beer pump for 500 yen.... home nama's are mine! We've had loads of small events like yesterday was the monthly birthday event and I dressed up as Santa and sang 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town'. Loads of fun. I was santa for another schools Christmas party as well lastweek which went really well, they loved my Santa comedy stylings.

I don't know why I get on so well with kids, they just love me and I love them. Who would have ever thought that would happen. It's most certainly my calling to work with kids, although lets have less of the work and more of the play....

Life outside of school is good right now. It's all about the para and the jubs, that's Japanese pubs.... and it's really about the crates. If you go out drinking in Tokyo you have to drink somewhere where you sit on crates. It's the cheap authetic option. Ohhhh don't get me started on karaoke.... always best times ever, but always so messy with so many hours all you can drink. You can guarentee I'm getting into an arguement with the staff at some point. Either the drinks have no booze in them, oh wait I'm a mess maybe they do.... or they try and charge you triple for being a silly gaijin. In reality I'm just stupidly drunk and causing a scene....

My work visa I've decided to take my time with it seeing as I need a new passport and it takes 6 weeks to get one, time would have run out on my current visa. SO I'll have to leave the country and do a visa run, come back into the country on a six month tourist visa. Of course I'll still work, I mean vollenteer.... But it menas there's no rush. So I'm planning on a Christmas holiday to England, hopefully if all goes to plan I'll head over around the 21st and return around the 12th. It seems strange to want to have a holiday in England, but I would like to see family and friends, and just chill out in a real house for a bit. And I really want to remember why I love it so much out here, and I will do after a few days in the UK, that's for sure. But if this trip doesn't work out I'll spend Christmas here with everyone and do a visa run to Korea in January.

Oh yeah that's what else happened with school, we went to the theatre. Well.... it was to see the Japanese version of the Tweenies. It was ohhhhhh so weird, but of course fun

Hmmm I'm thinking if it'd be a good idea to get my own place in the new year. As fun as it is living with two of my best mates I really do crave something more than a corner of a living room. Time to upgrade and level up I think. Need more space!!!!!!

Ja ne laters yo

Monday, 8 November 2010


Time in Tokyo, it's just one big blur. So much happens here but I can never remember quite what. I guess it's a life brown out... that's like a blackout but where you remember bits and pieces...


The whole of October was all about two things. Halloween and Jasmine's Birthday month. Yes, Birthday month. We celebrated it at almost all of the clubs we go to everyweek and dressed up at nearly all of them. Cake was had and thrown, many a brown out was had, and many an AKB48 outfit was worn.... The highlight of the month of Birthday probably being the house party where we were graced with the presence of our good para friends, Bancho and Fujimoto-san. Great party with far to much spiritus. I woke up with a tranny in my bed and a navaho on the sofa. Total blackout. What more could you ask for.

Highlight of my school month was a field trip to Kawagoe in Saitama, which is just north of Tokyo. We travelled to a potatoe picking farm where we all dug for sweet pototoes, had a picnic and just played about in the woods all day. I was assigned with the oldest kids for the day which was sweet, usually I'm with hiyoko year, the youngest kids. The bus rides on field trips are always so fun, everyone is so psyked, songs are sang and it's just a right good laugh. In a few weeks we're going on a trip to see a kids theatre show which looks a lot like the Tweenies. Should be good. For some reason I have to be suited up.

I'm planning a little diddle of a project of making a film of a day at my school. I'd love to show my friends and family what it's actually like and how awesome the kids are. Current favorite kid? Seina-chan, she's a comedy legend, makes me laugh so much. I have lunch with her every other day, have to make it look like I don't have favorites.... but when it comes to lunch I switch between four groups of girls. Anyway, look forward to my little movie.

I have to apply for a new passport seeing as I lost my original one the first week I was here... but it got me thinking my list of disgrace is pretty long already for only having lived here for ten months. Infact, this deserves a list. A list of disgrace and excellence!!

Passport... LOST.... DRUNK
Tooth.... BROKEN.... DRUNK
Glasses... BROKEN.... DRUNK x2
Kissed a married man... DRUNK!!!

Hmmm I'm missing a few bad ones. I mean last Friday night sums up the average night out. First izakaya, drunk as a brick. On to karaoke, booze hotline, to many milks, glasses broken, the room is a river of booze and chunder, get over charged, argue with the manager and almost get in a fight (this happens every karaoke...). On to bar number two.... brown out. Drink on the streets annoying the locals and getting moved on by the police. Bike home somehow.


But yeah, if para clubbing is not on the agenda then that's usually the plan or some variation of that. Saying that I really need some more interests and ways of meeting new people. Apart from my housemates and one or two others I don't have anyone to call on for good times, I'm not complaining oh no, I'm pretty lucky as it is. I would just like to meet some new people. How to do this is the question!!?? Well I was thinking how much I miss playing sports, mainly football and golf. So I might go check out some clubs to do with that. Get on it Beckwith.

Ok love life, what would you do if you were me? I really have no clue what to do. So if you were me, a clueless 30 year old virgin with zero experience in anything lovelife related..... what would be your move? I'm great with friends and people I know, and lets face it, I'm awesome. So help me out, what would you do??? This is the only part of life that I feel I haven't cracked. Let's get it done.

My visa process is in full swing. I have a immigration lawer on the case sorting it all out for me. He has a 98% sucess record and says I shouldn't have any problems. Even without a degree I can get a sponsered work visa, we're going down the path of me having three years teaching experience in England. Which obviously I don't have.... but it can be anything, volenteer work, private teaching, anything. I just have to supply references and tick the boxes basically. I may have to come to England to apply in person at the London Japanese Embassy, which is silly, but at the same time I would like to come back for maybe two weeks over christmas and new years. So that could work out nicely.

I'll leave you with my fave AKB48 video of the minute, so so cute.

Boomtown out....

Tuesday, 28 September 2010


It's been awhile since my last post, things are great and maybe a little down at the same time, but mostly great here in Tokyo land.

My world is being consumed by my schools sports day festival which is taking place on Saturday. It's all very different to English sports days in the fact there aren't really any sports being done. No it's more of a dance festival than anything. Each year group is doing a big performance, the mums and dads are doing a dance, and the mums are doing a special AKB48 dance as well. As for me? I'm taking part in all three XD We've spent many days after school learning the AKB48 dance, well really the whole day is AKB48 themed.

YES!!! I do love me some AKB!!!

One of the mums has made me an AKB outfit with the skirt and little hat, it's gonna be boooooomtown all over the place! I'm playing the taiko drum as well during the day. It's gonna be so much fun.

Yeah school is just the highlight of my life right now which is a good thing, it really is that much fun. Over the past month David, who used to work at my school came here for a month holiday. It's been a hell of a lot of fun hanging out with him, we get along really well. It was nice having a male friend around, made me realise all my friends in Tokyo are women. AGGGGGHHHHH!!! We partied it up quite a bit and put on THE best school birthday performance in history. You see every month we have a school party to celebrate the kids birthdays of that month, and some teachers will do a play or dance. It's always a lot of fun. This month, me David and three sexy teachers did a big lio and stich para performance. We dressed up and decoracted the place and it was just awesome. The kids heads actually exploded.


I think I've been a little down lately about my love life.... which I never normally am. I think it's that everyone around me is just always love love sex sex, and I'm.... a brick. Would be nice to change my ways, but I don't know what I want so... whatever. But it has depressed me recently. Just to experience a date would be nice... I'm not asking for sex, or to even kiss someone, just dinner or something would be a step in the right direction.

On a brighter note, you know I've kinda realised over the past few months how lucky I am to be me in social situations. Now I don't want ths to come across as big headed, but I really don't have to do much other than sit back have a drink, drop in a few jokes and just be me, and people seem to really enjoy my company. I do consider myself lucky with this because I know a lot of people make so much effort socially and don't get much in return. I bet this sounds so up myself, but it's just something I've noticed.

Anyway gotta love you and leave you. Lots of dance practice to be had tomorrow and it's getting late. Oh and I got arrested for a stolen bike and nearly deported, but that's another story XD

River glasses finding victory!! @ a bbq in Saitama a few weeks ago.

Dancing at SEF clubnight. Love this picture!

Me and my housemate Jasmine doing what we do best!

Monday, 6 September 2010

Burning like fire!!

How much longer is this heatwave going to last??!!!!

It's been, well over three months now with the temperature constantly around 35c, in the past week it's topped 37c. CRAZY!!! It's supposedly the hottest Tokyo summer since the war. Add the intense humidity to the heat and it can get unbearable. On the plus side I've never been this tanned in my life, but man alive I can't wait for autumn to get here, then we can just relax and have a normal summer.

Actual photo of Shin Nakano where I live. INTENSE!!

School is back in full swing this week after the long summer break. I'm so glad. It's fantastic seeing all the kids again, all my little mates. The German guy, David, who I pretty much replaced at the school is back for a month and a bit. He's a really nice guy though, we get along pretty well. It's actually really fun having someone I can joke around with without any language barriers. It's also worked in my favor with the other teachers as well, because they see me laughing and joking with David and they all really like him, so they kind of see me just as my joking normal self. I've noticed they've really been making a lot more effort to chat with me. If you're wondering my Japanese is getting a hell of a lot better, but still needs a lot of improving. But it's at a point where I can understand most conversations and can at least get my point across. And I can read hiragana pretty much perfectly now. It's getting there!

Yay my kindergarten  <3

The pool on the roof with a spectacular view of Nakano/Shinjuku and on a clear day the mountains to the west. Love the pool!

It's coming to a point in my stay here where I have to think about my visa. So I'm on a working holiday visa that finishes in early February. My school are happy to sponsor me for a full working visa, but having only finished half my degree it will be difficult, but not impossible, and hey, if anyone can do it, it's me! You know what a lucky son of a mother fucker I am.... I'll get legal advice soon to find out all my options and go from there. But you know I'm not leaving anytime soon. The thought of leaving my kids..... breaks my heart.

So what have I been up to lately in Tokyo? Ahhhh you know, the usual. Clubbing, drinking, clubbing, eating and sunbathing. There's still a ton of things I have on my to do list in Japan. Things like Fuji and Kamakura. Maybe number one on that list is going to the beach and just spending the night there with a bottle of bourbon and a good book. Something I may well do this coming weekend. I really want to break my routine and just go to some random places off the beaten trail. Saying that, this week looks like school and clubbing, and who am I to complain XD

Lots of love from Tokyo. Always living the dream!

Friday, 27 August 2010

Summer Holidays are over let's get blitzed!!

Today marks the end of summer holidays at my school. I say holidays but I've been working in the summer school all the time as I don't get paid holiday yet.

If you didn't know I work in the most fantastic kindergarten in Koenji, Tokyo. It's an all Japanese school for kids aged 4-6. My job is basically to play with the kids all day and just be their friend. Well, it's the best job in the world, or at the very least the best job I could ever want to have. It suits me down to the ground, I just have to be my happy fun loving self and everyone seems to think I'm doing a great job.

Well it's been maybe two months since I saw most of the kids, who I pretty much consider my little mates, I'm so looking forward to next week and seeing them all again. Summer school has been a mix of easy days and boring days. There haven't been more than 15 kids there at any one time so sometimes it's got slightly boring, but the pool made it entertaining. I made that into my own hot tub XD Weirdly I was the teacher who would get in with the kids. I'm pretty unique how I go about playing with the kids. I always play 100% hardly ever taking a minute to rest, which means a lot of running and fighting and rolling around. I end everyday looking like the rest of the kids, where most of the teachers look pristine. I know the heads of the school like my style though, it's exactly what they want. And everyday I get kids so happy to see me and shouting 'Makkusu Sensei!!!'.

There's nothing that fills me with more pride than the kids calling me Sensei, and especially when they tell me they love me <3 Sweetest kids in the world and I love them all x1000000000000000 Who would have thought I'd end up loving kids so much.

I've been thinking about my visa recently, seeing as it expires in mid January. Basically the school are more than happy to sponsor me for a full visa. GREAT!! But I never did finish my degree. BAD!! So soon I'm going to get legal advice and find out all my options. Being a native Englishman gives me a huge selling point though, and hey, if anyone is gonna get a visa out of these people it'll be me!


Some of my highlights of my stay in Japan so far, including adventures in the mountains, almost losing my arm and soul to a dirty voodoo man in Roppongi and oh so more.

Picture tours of my fave places in East Tokyo. My apartment, school, reading spots, drinking holes and the rest.


Tuesday, 24 August 2010

English man in Tokyo part one

Hi and welcome to my blog bloggy blog, brought to you from the land of insantity and stupidness that is Japan.

You probably know me already right? Well maybe you do and maybe you don't. Maybe you only half know me. So let me fill you in briefly on how I came to be living in Tokyo.


1980 - Born Leicester England
2004 - Discovers the Japanese dance called parapara
2007 - Goes to University of East London to study degree in history so I can move to Japan to dance parapara
2009 - Failing the degree decides to go to Japan via a working holiday visa for 1 year
2010 - In Japan being drunk

I'd like to think many things have happened in between but to be honest... I was drunk and I forget. So here I am in Tokyo in August 2010. I moved in January and since then I haven't looked back. So yeah, I'm here on a one year visa but I have THE best job ever and noway do I plan on leaving it in the next few years. Visa?? Just leave that to me, I never fail!!

Oh the job? Kindergarten teacher, teaching the greatest most fun kids in the world. All aged 4-6. It may sound young but they are all my bestest mates and I love them more than words could express. Oh how I love them. I love my job and I love Tokyo. 

I live in Shin Nakano by the way, which is just west of Shinjuku. A great party location but at the same time really nice and with a lot of atmosphere. I live with two of my best friends, Gaby and Jasmine, from England and Sweden respectively. I love them both so much and feel so blessed to be living with them, as I know this will only be a short a period in my life. 

My life in Tokyo mainly consists of working at my kindergarten and clubbing/drinking. But when I say clubbing  mean parapara clubbing. Most people think it's rubbish but I love it more than anything else in life, I had my own night in London I love it that much.

I love Tokyo, the whole vibrant way of life and how it's pretty damn hard to be bored here. I do find a lot of similarities to London in the way there's so much going on but only if you look for it. I've always loved the fast pace of  life, not really for me, but for other people. I like to see a city on the move. The architecture, the lights, the hustle and bustle. It's so different to where I grew up in small town Wigston, England. The things I hate about Tokyo??

Not this!! This is me and friends boozing in a river in the mountains during a bbq a few weeks ago, one of the most fun days of my life!!!


I dislike the people always in a hurry being rude and just rubbish and racist. Yeah it does make me laugh how some people are to foreigners, is it weird there are people outside of Japan?? In fact most of my complaints come from the people, the way they can't communicate and are just so different, but that's just the way they are here. And obviously the lack of space. It's hard to find a private space to chill out. You can't just go to the park and read a book on your own, people are always there. But saying that deserted car parks are a great reading spot of mine XD

My weeks here consist of working at my kindergarten, para clubbing, drinking, eating, reading and the odd bit of culture when it fits into my schedule. I've never been happier tbh, there's not a lot I miss from England, although I guess I DO miss it.

Me and one of my bestest mates Jasmine <3

If you're wondering about my love life, I doubt you are but I guess it makes up a lot of peoples life's, I have none. Hell, lets be honest, it's a new blog after all. I have no love life, I never have. Never had a girlfriend, never had a boyfriend, a virgin at 30. BUT HELL, does that make me boring in anyway, hell no, I'm boom town central baby and to be honest all that stuff doesn't mean a hell of a lot to me. Ahhhh that's for another day, but just know all that stuff other people think about, it really doesn't enter my mind like hardly ever.

So yeah, loving it in Tokyo 2010, hope to stay here a hell of a lot longer. Look forward to clubbing updates, thoughts on Tokyo, the people, and life as an English man in the weirdest city in the world!

Me teaching at a school festival