Fear and bloody bonenkai loathing!!

My life gets more and more fear and loathing with each passing year, and Saturdays Bonenkai has to go down at the top of my list of most stupidly awesome adventures ever. Bonenkai is a tradition in Japan where people get together and drink away their sins from the year. An awesome tradition I'm sure you'll agree, but a tradition that was always going to get messy if you know what I'm like....

The story goes a little something like this....

Just your average pre Christmas Saturday night with my fellow Tokyo drinking buddies. We're in the heart of Shinjuku so jub alley it is, also known as memory lane. Ok, let's get one thing straight about drinking in Japan, if you're going to do it right you have to hit a jub (Japanese pub) with crates. That is, if you aren't sitting on a pile of crates in someones converted living room, well you are worthless as a person and I will not associate with your kind. Memory lane is one of the few crate jub areas in Shinjuku, of course if you head to places like Nakano and Koenji the jubs and crates are everywhere. But I digress. It was pretty ram a damma ding dong as far as the booze eye could see, but after awhile we got pulled into this most useless of jubs. Over priced, shit drinks, a chunder bucket by my feet. This is no way to kick of a bonenkai!!! So we move on.

To a 100yen jubber!! The promised land! This is how a bonenkai should be started, and started it was! Drinks flowed, laughs were had, but alas little Jasmine had a club night/concert to go to at midnight. Being rather tipsy myself and my fellow boozers decided to join her. So to Loft we headed for some hardcore noise dj rubbish. Of course myself and my drinking partner in crime who I shall refere to as 'Dickhead', we stuffed whsky down our pants and were ready to rock and roll. It was all average fun and dancing until we were hit by a sentence so deadly I hardly dare repeat it.....

JAGER SHOTS FOR 100YEN......

Well, those swines were just determined to kill us weren't they, and at 100 yen a pop it was just a matter of 'keep them coming'. Vague foggy memories of a spiritus bottle as well entering the arena, but of this I can not be sure. It goes without saying it was at this point it all went badly wrong. I lost everyone else at what must have been around 4am, quite a feat being a small venue. Suddenly the urge to leave came like a wave crashing sown upon my bruised brain. Foggy visions of me crashing out the doors and up the stairs, emerging with no idea where I was. Woe is me!!!

Now.... I was planning to book my flight home to England for new years that same day, and because of that I had a cool 130,000 yen in my wallet. Around 1000 pounds in real cash. The next part I cannot and will not write about, it's gonzo and fear and loathing but.... this is far to public a place to divulge such tales. So I must appologise and sensor myself, a pussy I am. If you really want to know what happened contact me via Facebook or someother form of internet magic.

BASICALLY..... In my drunken bonenkai tornedo state.... I was robbed. I lost everything. No return for new years, not even my train fair home. It has to go down as a top 3 lifetime train wreck.

The moral of the story? There is no moral, or at least run when you hear the magic sentence 'jager 100yen a shot'.... But  managed to wizard up the money again the next day so it was only a minor inconvenience.

よかったね!!